A!S fic: By request of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kytyngurl2...
Jun. 5th, 2005 12:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mikkenekoSince kytyngurl2 requested a followup fic to her Alters story, "Fans," I have obliged. *sighs* Here's to hoping you find it at least mildly entertaining, Kyt.
Title: In Search of a Missing Masuta
Summary: When Masuta doesn't turn up for a meeting one day, his friends go looking...
Masuta was missing.
This was not always a matter of immediate concern, as the foreign man often vanished for a morning or an afternoon to go on a walk, or hole himself up somewhere to draw, or whatever else struck his fancy.
But it wasn't like the man to miss an appointment, particularly not by several hours, and Roy was beginning to get a bit worried. This was Central, after all; Roy had a lot of enemies here. It was not inconceivable that someone could have mistaken Masuta for him. Or even, if they knew the official story about Roy's 'younger brother,' decided he would make a good lever for blackmail.
Roy was a little worried. Ed was bordering on a nervous wreck.
Not that he'd ever show his concern so obviously, of course; he appeared to be no more than unusually irritated, snapping at everyone who spoke to him and frequently bursting into complaint about inconsiderate jerks who vanished without telling anyone where they'd gone.
"He said he was coming to headquarters to meet us!" Ed exclaimed, pacing the floor of Roy's office. "The guard on duty at the gate says he passed him in, but he never turned up here!"
"Calm down, Edward, let's think about this logically," Roy replied. "If he passed in but hasn't left yet, then he must still be somewhere on the base. We merely have to locate him. And if we can't..."
"Then what?" Ed demanded.
"Then, we'll decide what to do about it when the time comes." Roy drummed his fingers on the top of his desk, thinking. "I could request the usage of the announcement system -- if he's somewhere on the base, he'll hear that. On the other hand..."
"Stop being so damn cryptic, it's annoying," Ed snapped. "Why not?"
Roy sighed. "I'm merely concerned that if Masuta has, indeed, been... taken aside... then such an announcement would alert unwanted parties as to our intentions."
Ed scowled, pacing around for a moment in silence while he considered. "So what we need is some way of gathering everyone in one place, so we can see if Masuta's there, and to empty the building so we can search it, if he's not."
Roy nodded. "That would do, I believe. However, I'm not sure..."
"Right." Ed turned on his heel, and left the room. Roy raised an eyebrow at his friend's back, then settled in to wait.
He didn't have to wait long, before the shrill claxon of the fire alarm went off, sounding through every room and hallway in the building.
Roy sighed. Fullmetal never could do things by halves.
Roy took his time as he sauntered out of the building, with the rushing crowds on either side. He wanted everyone to get in place before he started searching, lest Masuta turn up in a part of the crowd he'd already searched.
After nearly half an hour of searching the milling crowds, though, he gave up; Masuta was clearly not out here. His somewhat exotic appearance, as well as lack of uniform, would make him distinctive in any military crowd.
And if he wasn't out of the building, then he must still be in there. Roy slipped away from the crowd, still wondering among themselves what the cause was for the drill, and headed inside.
He ran into Ed almost immediately inside, and gave him a long and slightly exasperated look.
"If they find out it was you who pulled the alarm, you'll be in trouble, you know."
Ed dismissed the warning with the impatience of one to whom trouble was just another form of work, and shrugged. "I've already searched the entire East Wing," he said. "Come on, you can help me quarter the rest of the place before they let people back inside."
"If past drills are any indication, we have at least another half hour," Roy assured him, even as he set off towards the west wing in the blond's wake.
Ed's method of searching was unorthodox, but quick and effective; he'd enter a room, look around briefly, and then clap his hands and lay them on the floor. With a small rumble, the door of every closet and cabinet would swing open; even ones that were supposedly locked. Roy was both impressed and somewhat alarmed, but he supposed any illusions the military had as to their security against alchemists were their own fault.
Ed's method of searching also, Roy observed, revealed any hidden spaces in the walls or floors. They found a couple of stashes of contraband, including one truly impressive collection of pornographic magazines under the floorboards of the monitoring room, but no Masuta.
Trailing behind Ed as he stormed through another corridor, Roy was somewhat surprised when Ed passed by one particular door without even looking twice. Before now, the younger alchemist had been ruthlessly meticulous in his search. "Ed," Roy called. "You missed a door."
Ed skidded to a stop and turned towards him, eyes widening. "I can't go in THERE," he sputtered.
Roy gave him a look. "Why not?"
"It's the girl's bathroom!"
"So?" Really, they needed to set Fullmetal up with a girl. "Nobody is watching. And we really ought to be thorough."
"Yeah, but we also need to not waste time," Ed objected. "It's not like a bunch of girls would have suddenly decided to kidnap Masuta and stash him in the bathroom!"
"Clearly, Fullmetal, you lack experience with the fairer sex," Roy said airily, and pushed open the door to the bathroom. "After you."
Ed gave him a look somewhere between astonished and horrified, but he never could resist a dare, and pushed on past Roy through the door. "You're enjoying this way too much," he said. "Fine, if it'll make you happy, but he's not going to be -- Masuta?!"
"For shame, putting us all to such pains, Ichiro," Roy reproached the Japanese man, keeping a straight face only with the aid of long years of practice. "And we thought you were really in trouble!"
Masuta shot him a look of horrified disbelief. "Really in trouble?" he exclaimed, and pointed at the coffee table in front of the couch. The remains of a gag and several lengths of rope gave mute testimony to the other man's predicament. "They ambushed me, dropped a sack over my head, tied me up and dragged me off into a dungeon! How much more trouble do I need to be in?!"
"That wasn't actually a dungeon," Ed pointed out helpfully, "it's the south break room. It just has really bad insulation."
"And poor lighting as well," Roy agreed, "which is why it is very rarely used. No doubt that's why your... 'captors' chose it as a location."
He couldn't quite suppress the chuckles bubbling up in his chest at the words, and Masuta responded with outrage. "Stop laughing at me!" he objected. "It isn't funny! How would you like being in that... that... situation?!"
"What, abducted and dragged to a private place by a group of lovely young ladies intent on enjoying the delights of my company?" Roy pretended to think about it for a few seconds. "I do believe it would be my idea of heaven."
Masuta sulked. Ed, at least, seemed to have slightly more sympathy for his position, although he wasn't even trying to stop grinning. "Well, it's a good thing we came by, then," he said, patting Masuta's shoulder. "Before you lost any more of your virtue."
"Any more?" Masuta exclaimed, scandalized.
"Jokes aside," Ed said, his face losing some of its humor and hardening somewhat, "I'm pretty pissed with those ladies. Bad enough kidnapping you and dragging you off against your will, but then they decided to stash you in a bathroom when they had to evacuate the building..."
Roy nodded, gathering a sheaf of papers on his desk and shuffling them together. Since the official explanation for the alarm was that there had been a small earthquake, Roy had been careful to upset the contents of his room to match the rest. "That is true. You have my assurance that the women in question will be properly disciplined."
"I mean -- what if there'd been a real fire?" Ed said, working up to a rant.
Masuta winced. "Please don't say that word," he muttered. Ed looked at him, and immediately became contrite.
"Sorry about that, Masuta," Ed said, sounding subdued. "Wasn't really thinking. We just needed a way to clear out the building so we could search for you."
Masuta rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I wish you could have found some other way, that's all," he said. "That was not a pleasant experience."
Roy listened to them talking, sorting through the papers on his desk. He was just gathering up the papers that had fallen out of his overstuffed inbox when the header on one of them caught his eye. He pulled it out, setting it on the desk before him, then stared.
"Well, how else were we supposed to know where you'd gone?" Ed was arguing, embarrassed.
Roy began to laugh, breaking into their conversation. Ed and Masuta both looked over to stare at him, astonished.
"I thought I told you this wasn't funny?" Masuta huffed.
"Not that." Roy held up the sheet of paper between his thumb and forefinger. "This."
"What is that?" Ed reached over to snatch the paper from his hands, then squinted at it. "Wait a minute --"
"If I recall correctly," Roy said dryly, "all organizations and clubs which make use of the headquarter's building space and draw on their funding require authorization from the central office and must submit weekly minutes for each meeting. The signing off of which is one of my -- many -- administrative duties."
Masuta took advantage of Ed's moment of gaping shock to snatch the paper away from him and read the header. "'Club or organization name: Mustang Fanclub?' " he read incredulously. "'Order of business: On the subject of Mustang's shy but endearing younger brother. Attendance: --' You can't be serious!" he objected.
Ed sputtered, pointing at Mustang. "Are you telling me," he began, disbelievingly, "that you're so damn narcissistic that you've set yourself up to read and sign all the reports coming from a fanclub set up to flattering your ego?"
"It wasn't like it was my idea for them to found it," Mustang protested.
"Oh, sure, I believe that!"
"Come now, Fullmetal, if you'd spent more time around Headquarters yourself, you might have gotten a fanclub of your own organized --"
"That's not the point!" Ed argued.
"The point," Masuta interrupted, waving the sheet of paper furiously and black eyes snapping, "is that their plans for this morning's escapade were described here in detail, this paper has been sitting on your desk for at least a week, and you didn't warn me!"
"Er," Roy said, and gave a slightly embarrassed cough. "I hadn't quite worked my way that far down in the pile yet --"
Ed and Masuta stared at Roy for a moment, then at each other. Slowly, dangerously, Masuta set the paper down on the table and stood up, stalking over to the other side of the office, where Hawkeye's desk sat.
"Second drawer down on the left is where she keeps her spare pistols," Ed called helpfully.
Roy began to wonder if it wasn't too early for another fire alarm.
kytyngurl2 requested a followup fic to her Alters story, "Fans," I have obliged. *sighs* Here's to hoping you find it at least mildly entertaining, Kyt.Title: In Search of a Missing Masuta
Summary: When Masuta doesn't turn up for a meeting one day, his friends go looking...
Masuta was missing.
This was not always a matter of immediate concern, as the foreign man often vanished for a morning or an afternoon to go on a walk, or hole himself up somewhere to draw, or whatever else struck his fancy.
But it wasn't like the man to miss an appointment, particularly not by several hours, and Roy was beginning to get a bit worried. This was Central, after all; Roy had a lot of enemies here. It was not inconceivable that someone could have mistaken Masuta for him. Or even, if they knew the official story about Roy's 'younger brother,' decided he would make a good lever for blackmail.
Roy was a little worried. Ed was bordering on a nervous wreck.
Not that he'd ever show his concern so obviously, of course; he appeared to be no more than unusually irritated, snapping at everyone who spoke to him and frequently bursting into complaint about inconsiderate jerks who vanished without telling anyone where they'd gone.
"He said he was coming to headquarters to meet us!" Ed exclaimed, pacing the floor of Roy's office. "The guard on duty at the gate says he passed him in, but he never turned up here!"
"Calm down, Edward, let's think about this logically," Roy replied. "If he passed in but hasn't left yet, then he must still be somewhere on the base. We merely have to locate him. And if we can't..."
"Then what?" Ed demanded.
"Then, we'll decide what to do about it when the time comes." Roy drummed his fingers on the top of his desk, thinking. "I could request the usage of the announcement system -- if he's somewhere on the base, he'll hear that. On the other hand..."
"Stop being so damn cryptic, it's annoying," Ed snapped. "Why not?"
Roy sighed. "I'm merely concerned that if Masuta has, indeed, been... taken aside... then such an announcement would alert unwanted parties as to our intentions."
Ed scowled, pacing around for a moment in silence while he considered. "So what we need is some way of gathering everyone in one place, so we can see if Masuta's there, and to empty the building so we can search it, if he's not."
Roy nodded. "That would do, I believe. However, I'm not sure..."
"Right." Ed turned on his heel, and left the room. Roy raised an eyebrow at his friend's back, then settled in to wait.
He didn't have to wait long, before the shrill claxon of the fire alarm went off, sounding through every room and hallway in the building.
Roy sighed. Fullmetal never could do things by halves.
Roy took his time as he sauntered out of the building, with the rushing crowds on either side. He wanted everyone to get in place before he started searching, lest Masuta turn up in a part of the crowd he'd already searched.
After nearly half an hour of searching the milling crowds, though, he gave up; Masuta was clearly not out here. His somewhat exotic appearance, as well as lack of uniform, would make him distinctive in any military crowd.
And if he wasn't out of the building, then he must still be in there. Roy slipped away from the crowd, still wondering among themselves what the cause was for the drill, and headed inside.
He ran into Ed almost immediately inside, and gave him a long and slightly exasperated look.
"If they find out it was you who pulled the alarm, you'll be in trouble, you know."
Ed dismissed the warning with the impatience of one to whom trouble was just another form of work, and shrugged. "I've already searched the entire East Wing," he said. "Come on, you can help me quarter the rest of the place before they let people back inside."
"If past drills are any indication, we have at least another half hour," Roy assured him, even as he set off towards the west wing in the blond's wake.
Ed's method of searching was unorthodox, but quick and effective; he'd enter a room, look around briefly, and then clap his hands and lay them on the floor. With a small rumble, the door of every closet and cabinet would swing open; even ones that were supposedly locked. Roy was both impressed and somewhat alarmed, but he supposed any illusions the military had as to their security against alchemists were their own fault.
Ed's method of searching also, Roy observed, revealed any hidden spaces in the walls or floors. They found a couple of stashes of contraband, including one truly impressive collection of pornographic magazines under the floorboards of the monitoring room, but no Masuta.
Trailing behind Ed as he stormed through another corridor, Roy was somewhat surprised when Ed passed by one particular door without even looking twice. Before now, the younger alchemist had been ruthlessly meticulous in his search. "Ed," Roy called. "You missed a door."
Ed skidded to a stop and turned towards him, eyes widening. "I can't go in THERE," he sputtered.
Roy gave him a look. "Why not?"
"It's the girl's bathroom!"
"So?" Really, they needed to set Fullmetal up with a girl. "Nobody is watching. And we really ought to be thorough."
"Yeah, but we also need to not waste time," Ed objected. "It's not like a bunch of girls would have suddenly decided to kidnap Masuta and stash him in the bathroom!"
"Clearly, Fullmetal, you lack experience with the fairer sex," Roy said airily, and pushed open the door to the bathroom. "After you."
Ed gave him a look somewhere between astonished and horrified, but he never could resist a dare, and pushed on past Roy through the door. "You're enjoying this way too much," he said. "Fine, if it'll make you happy, but he's not going to be -- Masuta?!"
"For shame, putting us all to such pains, Ichiro," Roy reproached the Japanese man, keeping a straight face only with the aid of long years of practice. "And we thought you were really in trouble!"
Masuta shot him a look of horrified disbelief. "Really in trouble?" he exclaimed, and pointed at the coffee table in front of the couch. The remains of a gag and several lengths of rope gave mute testimony to the other man's predicament. "They ambushed me, dropped a sack over my head, tied me up and dragged me off into a dungeon! How much more trouble do I need to be in?!"
"That wasn't actually a dungeon," Ed pointed out helpfully, "it's the south break room. It just has really bad insulation."
"And poor lighting as well," Roy agreed, "which is why it is very rarely used. No doubt that's why your... 'captors' chose it as a location."
He couldn't quite suppress the chuckles bubbling up in his chest at the words, and Masuta responded with outrage. "Stop laughing at me!" he objected. "It isn't funny! How would you like being in that... that... situation?!"
"What, abducted and dragged to a private place by a group of lovely young ladies intent on enjoying the delights of my company?" Roy pretended to think about it for a few seconds. "I do believe it would be my idea of heaven."
Masuta sulked. Ed, at least, seemed to have slightly more sympathy for his position, although he wasn't even trying to stop grinning. "Well, it's a good thing we came by, then," he said, patting Masuta's shoulder. "Before you lost any more of your virtue."
"Any more?" Masuta exclaimed, scandalized.
"Jokes aside," Ed said, his face losing some of its humor and hardening somewhat, "I'm pretty pissed with those ladies. Bad enough kidnapping you and dragging you off against your will, but then they decided to stash you in a bathroom when they had to evacuate the building..."
Roy nodded, gathering a sheaf of papers on his desk and shuffling them together. Since the official explanation for the alarm was that there had been a small earthquake, Roy had been careful to upset the contents of his room to match the rest. "That is true. You have my assurance that the women in question will be properly disciplined."
"I mean -- what if there'd been a real fire?" Ed said, working up to a rant.
Masuta winced. "Please don't say that word," he muttered. Ed looked at him, and immediately became contrite.
"Sorry about that, Masuta," Ed said, sounding subdued. "Wasn't really thinking. We just needed a way to clear out the building so we could search for you."
Masuta rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I wish you could have found some other way, that's all," he said. "That was not a pleasant experience."
Roy listened to them talking, sorting through the papers on his desk. He was just gathering up the papers that had fallen out of his overstuffed inbox when the header on one of them caught his eye. He pulled it out, setting it on the desk before him, then stared.
"Well, how else were we supposed to know where you'd gone?" Ed was arguing, embarrassed.
Roy began to laugh, breaking into their conversation. Ed and Masuta both looked over to stare at him, astonished.
"I thought I told you this wasn't funny?" Masuta huffed.
"Not that." Roy held up the sheet of paper between his thumb and forefinger. "This."
"What is that?" Ed reached over to snatch the paper from his hands, then squinted at it. "Wait a minute --"
"If I recall correctly," Roy said dryly, "all organizations and clubs which make use of the headquarter's building space and draw on their funding require authorization from the central office and must submit weekly minutes for each meeting. The signing off of which is one of my -- many -- administrative duties."
Masuta took advantage of Ed's moment of gaping shock to snatch the paper away from him and read the header. "'Club or organization name: Mustang Fanclub?' " he read incredulously. "'Order of business: On the subject of Mustang's shy but endearing younger brother. Attendance: --' You can't be serious!" he objected.
Ed sputtered, pointing at Mustang. "Are you telling me," he began, disbelievingly, "that you're so damn narcissistic that you've set yourself up to read and sign all the reports coming from a fanclub set up to flattering your ego?"
"It wasn't like it was my idea for them to found it," Mustang protested.
"Oh, sure, I believe that!"
"Come now, Fullmetal, if you'd spent more time around Headquarters yourself, you might have gotten a fanclub of your own organized --"
"That's not the point!" Ed argued.
"The point," Masuta interrupted, waving the sheet of paper furiously and black eyes snapping, "is that their plans for this morning's escapade were described here in detail, this paper has been sitting on your desk for at least a week, and you didn't warn me!"
"Er," Roy said, and gave a slightly embarrassed cough. "I hadn't quite worked my way that far down in the pile yet --"
Ed and Masuta stared at Roy for a moment, then at each other. Slowly, dangerously, Masuta set the paper down on the table and stood up, stalking over to the other side of the office, where Hawkeye's desk sat.
"Second drawer down on the left is where she keeps her spare pistols," Ed called helpfully.
Roy began to wonder if it wasn't too early for another fire alarm.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 01:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 03:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 03:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 01:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 06:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 03:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 07:21 am (UTC)*SQUUEEEEEEEE*
^________________________^
<3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
*cough* More coherent response now...
I love this. I love how Ed pulled a fire alarm (when looking for Masuta. Wonder if he knew what that was? Masuta: *hears fire alarm* AHHHH). I love how Mustang reads his own fanclub's reports. I love the scene with the three of them. And having Masuta go for Riza's guns was brilliant.
"Come now, Fullmetal, if you'd spent more time around Headquarters yourself, you might have gotten a fanclub of your own organized --" Adore this line. *random*
Secretary 1: You know, that blond who keeps visiting the General is pretty handsome.
Secretary 2: Ah, that's Edward Elric. He was the Fullmetal Alchemist.
Secretary 1: He's utterly gorgeous, if a little on the short side.
Secretary 3: He's got a younger brother too. Really cute.
Secretary 1: Really....All in favor of changing the "Mustang Fanclub" to the "Mustang and Elric Fanclub"?
All: Aye!
Thank you for a wonderful fic. And thank you Kytyn for giving her the idea!
no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 03:08 pm (UTC)And at least if they expand their fanclub, they'll double their odds! ^_~ Or at least divide their attention.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 07:56 am (UTC)I most CERTAINLY did. Made my night! The interaction is great, I laughed out loud quite a few times, and that was a nice touch there at the end about the fire! Perfect!
So I guess I owe you that $5 and some skittles now, huh? And my undying, zombie-like worship. :3
Thank you again! Glad you had fun writing it!
"Yeah, but we also need to not waste time," Ed objected. "It's not like a bunch of girls would have suddenly decided to kidnap Roy and stash him in the bathroom!"
Roy = Masuta ?
no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 03:09 pm (UTC)Gimme those skittles!
no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 08:18 am (UTC)angstycontinuation.no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 01:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 04:32 pm (UTC)Poor Masuta ^^; Being kidnapped and tied up.
Lovely interaction between then three of them.
Great fic!
no subject
Date: 2005-06-05 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-06 09:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-07 01:15 am (UTC)