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mikkenekoTitle: The Heralds of the White God chapter 5 - The Gathering Wave, Part I
Rating: M
Warnings: Violence, sexual content
Summary: In which the visitors learn that there is more to things in Ceres than can be seen on the surface.
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The golden afternoon had passed into evening while they were still wrapped up with each other, then to night. Somewhat to Kurogane's surprise, Fai had been right; nobody tried to interrupt them. They spent the time sometimes talking, mostly easing into each others' presence again. One night was not too much to ask, after months of separation.
By the time dawn cracked the horizon again, though, the outside world was making itself felt again; Kurogane's stomach began to give off insistent growls, not having eaten in over a day.
When a tentative knock sounded on the door, Kurogane pushed his sleepy blond partner back towards the pillow and got up to answer it, ignoring Fai's amused expression at the liberty. His clothes were around somewhere; he could only be bothered to locate his trousers and pull them on, and opened the door bare-chested.
He probably traumatized the young boy on the other side of the door when he opened it, judging by the boy's rounding eyes and gape of shock, but that was too damn bad. "What is it?" he growled.
The kid -- couldn't be more than nine or ten years old -- gulped and finally stammered out, "The -- the -- lord Flowright is requested to attend an audience later this afternoon, with the King and his wizards. If -- if he is well enough to go, of course, that is." Worried uncertainty crept into the boy's tone, and he tried to peek around Kurogane's solid body into the rest of the room.
"See for yourself," Kurogane said, moving aside far enough to give a line-of-sight into the room. Fai sat up, tufts of disordered blond hair drifting around his head in a halo, and gave the kid a sleepy smile and wave. The faint glow of health emanating from his skin -- the flesh already beginning to fill out over his bones -- was witness to his momentous recovery.
"Tell King Ashura I will be there," Fai called from the bed, although he did not move to get up immediately -- probably because his own clothes were not easily within reach. He glanced up at Kurogane, and the smile crept over his face again; he added, "And see about breakfast for Kuro-sama here. He traveled much too far without stopping for dinner, and he worked very hard last night."
Kurogane rolled his eyes at the suggestive tone, but couldn't stop a faint heat from creeping into his skin anyway. The page flushed a bright red -- young as he was, there was just no mistaking the situation the two men were in -- and stammered an agreement before fleeing down the stairs.
"Great," Kurogane said disgustedly. "Now he's gone to tell everyone in the palace about us. It'll be the talk of the staff by noon. What are your other wizard friends going to think?"
"They know, Kuro-chan," Fai said in a faintly amused voice. Now that they were safely alone, he slid back the covers and swung his feet to the floor, flexing them back and forth as though to test his strength. The skin of his back was pale, smooth, unmarked; there was no sign any more of the intricate black tattoo that had signed his geas. At least, Kurogane thought, no visible sign. He was bound by chains that cut deeper. "I didn't exactly make it a secret. They won't mind."
Remembering the glares from the day before, Kurogane doubted that, but he didn't press the point. "And what about Ashura?"
Fai stiffened, his smile fading as his expression stilled, and Kurogane almost regretted the question. Fai sighed. "He knows too, of course," he said quietly. "I could hardly hide it from him."
He cannot hide anything from Ashura, even if he tries, Kurogane remembered Yukito once saying. He stifled a sharp pang of anger and annoyance, confining his response to merely a disapproving grunt. "He doesn't like it."
"He'll cope," Fai said with a firmness that was unusual for him. "Somehow or other. I doubt you two will ever become friends --"
Kurogane's snort was all that comment deserved, and Fai smiled again. " -- but he'll simply have to learn to deal with you. Don't look so sour, Kuro-grumpy. You're the Nihon ambassador, after all; like it or not, he'll have no choice but to treat you accordingly."
"Hm." Kurogane watched Fai pick his way slowly around the room, partially enjoying the fluid grace that was restored to his movements; but the rest of his mind had been put in motion by Fai's comment. Up until now all his drive, all his attention had been focused on getting to Ceres and meeting with Fai, making sure that he was all right. Now that it looked like he would be, Kurogane was left to contemplate the situation that they found themselves in.
Fai was right; like it or not, he was the Nihon ambassador. He suppressed a momentary panic at the thought; he wasn't a courtier, he'd never been trained for this duty! He didn't understand politics, he had no skill in diplomacy or negotiation. And he hated parties.
On the other hand, there probably wasn't anyone at court in Nihon -- save perhaps for Prince Touya himself -- who understood both Nihon and Ceres as well as he did. And equally few as motivated to try, at least, to build a lasting peace between their notions. And if nothing else, he comforted himself, the culture here was so different that it wasn't like anyone would know what Nihon court manners he wasn't practicing. No, one way or another, their peaceful vacation time was over; it was time to work.
"So what's going on up here?" Kurogane asked eventually, watching Fai slip into his clothes. He was fascinated by the play of light over patterned cloth, flowing like liquid over that pale skin as Fai pulled the tunic over his head and adjusted the high collar. "Hidden up behind the passes. Nobody in Nihon has a clue what's going on with you these days, and it's making everybody pretty nervous. Or was that the idea?"
Fai sighed, smoothing his hand down over the draping folds of the sleeve. "That wasn't the intention," he said at last, "although I doubt many people are sorry about it. Ashura... Ashura wasn't happy to have you up here, you know."
"That much was obvious," Kurogane snorted.
Fai smiled briefly, but it was fleeting. He came to sit beside Kurogane again on the bed. "For more reasons than the obvious," he said. "If it hadn't been for... well, me, he'd sooner have cut off an arm than let you come back here again. He knows you, and he knows that you're smart and observant and have at least a rudimentary magical background... and you're loyal to the Empress and the High Priestess. Someone like you is the last person he wanted to have up here, exactly because you're going to see too much and understand too much, and report back to them."
Kurogane moved his hand and stroked the tips of his fingers lightly over the ends of Fai's hair, reveling in the sensation of where the soft hair gave way to smooth cloth. "I told Amaterasu that I wasn't coming here as a spy," he said, "and I meant that. But... Nihon is where my allegiance lies. I can't lie to them, or hide truths that could threaten our country. If..." he said, then trailed off, unsure how to phrase his fears. "If Ceres doesn't plan to honor the peace, if you're planning another assault..."
"It's nothing like that," Fai was quick to reassure him, and Kurogane sensed the earnest sincerity of his statement. "Not at all. If anything, it's the opposite."
That piqued Kurogane's interest. "Hm?" he said, keeping his voice noncommittal; although it was a futile effort, since he was sure Fai could sense his interest.
Fai was silent for a long moment, then he sighed. "Ashura wouldn't want me telling you these things," he said in a small voice. "But I will anyway. Because you deserve to know."
That last was said in a fierce tone, and Kurogane couldn't help but notice the choice of words; it wasn't that he needed to know, but that he deserved it. "Tell me," he said quietly.
"What it all comes down to is, Ceres is incredibly overextended," Fai blurted out. "I don't think anyone in Nihon realizes just how much damage their offensive last fall did to us, especially in terms of our population. How many people died, especially our men, the ones grown and healthy enough to go to war. The only reason we were able to survive until spring to counterattack was because we had fewer mouths to feed.
"And now with the new territory acquisitions in southern Ceres, we have to cover three times the ground with less than half the men. We gained arable lands, which was what we wanted -- but we have no farmers to tend them. At the same time we're trying to rebuild the infrastructure that was destroyed, both in the assault and when Yukito pulled out to defend Nihon against the demons. And still shore up our army to a point where we can present even the image of a credible defense against Nihon, spread out over leagues of our suddenly-expanded border -- well...
"We have boys as young as ten wielding halberds on the front lines, we have women and girls working in the crafthalls, we have every able-bodied adult in Ceres working themselves half to death just to maintain the status quo, let alone expand. And the situation won't get any better until the next generation is born and grows up -- and who will nurture and care for them, as well, with fathers stationed out on the borders and women working all day in the fields?"
Kurogane was stunned. He'd had some inkling of the problem -- he'd always known that Ceres was small -- but the sheer daunting impossibility of the task they now faced was overwhelming. "But -- you have the wizards," he started to point out.
Fai laughed, but it was a bitter-laced sound. "Oh yes, the wizards," he said. "The wizards make it all possible. Without magic, we could never even dream of doing all we do. Magic makes the crops grow faster, lets us communicate with the furthest reaches of the borders, lets us transport materials and bodies faster than manual labor ever could. Magic lets us rebuild citadels and pave roads, coax good weather and heal the sick. But you know us, Kuro-kun. You've been here before. How many wizards do we have?"
Kurogane was silent for a moment. "I always thought there must be more, that weren't stationed here, wizards that I never saw," he finally said.
Fai shook his head, sending blond tendrils flying about his face. "You saw all of us, Kuro-tan," he said in a deceptively gentle voice. "Ashura has worked for forty years to build a working core of wizards. In the beginning he had only Guru Clef, and then he had me. And I gave him the idea to build a new army, an unstoppable army, an army of wizards.
"So few," Fai agreed, a ragged catch in his voice. "Of those thirteen, one died defending Nihon against the demons, and two more have never fully recovered. Yukito is no longer trusted -- he hasn't been permitted to do any of the restoration work, let alone man the defenses. And I... well, as I grew weaker, I became less and less able to help. That left only eight wizards to do the work of an army; we have acolytes filling the roles that really require a trained wizard --"
"I met one of those," Kurogane said, thinking of the obvious inexperience of the young wizard at the pass. "Young lady, blond hair, green eyes. Seemed nervous."
Fai nodded. "Miyuki is a bright girl," he said, "and she'd do well, if she had someone watching over her, to teach her confidence. But no one has the time to spare."
"So you have no army, no workforce," Kurogane mused over the situation out loud, "and the greatest terror of Ceres, the council of wizards, is on its last legs." He shook his head in amazement. "No wonder you were keeping it a secret."
Fai gave another painful laugh. "It gets worse," he said.
"Worse?" Kurogane asked in amazement. "How?"
"Politics," Fai sighed, leaning against Kurogane's side. The ninjas was unsure if he was tired already just from the effort of getting dressed, or just seeking comfort. "Keep in mind that I've heard less of the news and gossip, since I've been ill... but there's a lot of discontent at the court, and support among the nobility is -- well -- fractured is about the kindest word you could say for it."
Kurogane nodded. "Amaterasu said she'd heard there was a schism at court," he recalled.
Fai winced at hearing even this statement of the obvious. "Well, yes," he said. "King Ashura has been strengthening the crown at the expense of the traditional powers of the noble families ever since he took the throne. Building up the power of the stable of Wizards was one of the primary means he used to do this. Conditions were bad enough, and people were desperate enough, that most of the nobles threw their support behind him anyway -- but that never meant that they were going to go into obscurity quietly, or that they would let go of their privileges forever.
"Now that the war is over, and we've gained so much of the land to the south, and it looks like the famine crisis might be over… the noble faction is raising its head again. They're not happy that the King is retaining control over all the conquered lands -- some of which were ancestrally under their control, before Nihon conquered them a hundred years ago. And they've always resented the power -- and privilege -- granted to the wizards, most of whom are common-born, many of whom weren't born in Ceres at all."
"So there's the noble faction on one side," Kurogane mused, "and the royal faction -- which includes the wizards -- on the other side. Makes sense." In some ways it was not unlike the setup of the Nihon government; although the nobles owned the land and by extension the peasantry, the office of the Imperial dynasty had always been granted legitimacy and power by the magical priesthood of the monks and mikos. After all, the emperor was directly descended from the divine goddess; the loyalty of the priesthood would always be with them over the more mundane office of the nobles, and that gave the Emperor an authority that superseded any noble.
"Well," Fai said, and he grimaced, "that was the way it... had been. But now, thanks to the... way the war ended... and to what Yukito did, there's a split between the wizards and the King himself. Yukito himself has been demoted, and the shadow has spilled over all the others as well."
"What?" Kurogane said, staring in astonishment. "He saved our country -- and yours! The wizards' defense of Nihon ended the war in your favor -- it's the only reason why Nihon has been willing to accept a peace treaty at all! They gave Ashura everything he wanted on a platter!"
Fai shook his head, not in denial of what Kurogane was saying exactly. "Ashura doesn't see it that way," he said. "He still dreams of conquest; he never wanted peace. He feels -- betrayed. He built his reign around the creation and nurturing of the wizards, he invested all his power in them... only to have them turn in his hand in the very moment of his triumph. He created the wizards; he never expected them to defy him. But at the same time, his country, his rule, is nothing without them, and he knows it."
"Them?" Kurogane said, catching on a repeated pattern in Fai's words that had been nagging at his attention.
"What?" Fai blinked.
"You keep saying 'the wizards' or 'them,' " Kurogane said, turning his head to watch Fai's expression. "Not 'we' or 'us.' Where do you fit into this? Are you not one of them anymore?"
"I…" Fai opened his mouth, then closed it and shook his head raggedly. "That wasn't what I -- they are still my -- we are still brothers. I wasn't trying to, to say that --"
His distress was so obvious, ambushed by his unconscious choice of words, that Kurogane sorry he'd brought it up. "Never mind," he said firmly, and began petting Fai's hair soothingly, thinking over all that Fai had told him.
"It sounds like it's been hard," he said at last. "But what I don't get is, if you're having so many problems, why aren't you pushing to get a peace treaty signed now when Nihon is still off-balance? Seems like your basic problem is just not enough people, and that's not a problem that's going to go away in a few months or a year. The longer you drag your feet, the harder it's going to be."
"What's a peace treaty worth?" Fai said bitterly. "It's just words. Don't you think, if they realized our weak our position is, how overstretched we are, that Nihon wouldn't jump at a chance to get back at us in an instant?"
Kurogane thought guiltily of the division in his own court, the samurai families screaming for more war, for vengeance and the redemption of honor. But -- "We do have honor as a nation, as a people," he said quietly. "And you have allies at Nihon. Tomoyo, the Crown Prince. You shouldn't discount those so quickly. There are some people who are far-sighted enough to realize that a true alliance will benefit both of us far more in the long run."
Fai's shoulders slumped. "You're right," he muttered. "I know it, and you know it -- but we aren't the ones who sign the treaties, are we? No one at court can agree. The ministers are the only ones pushing the treaty; they want peace at any cost, even if it means concessions of some of the territory we overran. They argue that all the land in the world won't do us any good if we can't administer it."
"Don't think the nobles would like that argument very much," Kurogane commented, and Fai chuckled in agreement, then sighed and continued.
"The nobles hate the ministers almost as much as they hate the wizards, because there are more of them, and they're merit-based rather than by noble blood. And they still control enough of the lands -- and the subjects -- to block any move that any of the other factions try to make. There's not just one schism -- it's a four-way deadlock, and no-one can move forward."
"I had no idea it was such a mess up here," Kurogane said, shaking his head in amazement. "Nobody did. We -- the court at Edo -- just thought that you were toying with us, insulting us by treating us so carelessly."
"Can you blame us for not wanting you to know?" Fai asked, looking away and taking the edge of the blanket in both hands, wrapping his fingers tightly in the linen. "Is it really so hard to understand why we wouldn't want you to see us like this, at our weakest and most vulnerable?"
They weren't talking about politics any more, and Kurogane knew it. He sat up, and put his arms around Fai's shoulders. "Maybe you should give us a chance," he said into Fai's ear. "Maybe we would surprise you."
Fai shivered, and bowed his head forward in acquiescence.
"Where have you been?" Kurogane asked ungraciously as Syaoran entered the room. The kid had been missing all morning; now he drifted in with a dazed look on his face, practically floating an inch off the ground.
The look his student gave him was surprised and reproachful. "I was here last night and this morning," he said. "You never came back, I never heard another word about you. You could have been dead in a ditch for all I knew."
Kurogane only 'hmph'ed in response, feeling an unaccustomed guilt for how ruthlessly he had abandoned the boy the other night. He knew he was responsible for him, but he'd simply had too much else on his mind. Now, he studied Syaoran narrowly, trying to gauge his state of mind. The boy didn't look furtive or guilty, like he was trying to hide any indiscretion on his own part. He just looked... thoughtful, the same absorbed look he got when he had his nose stuck in a book, right before he walked off the porch with it and tripped on his face.
"Show me where you put all my stuff," he ordered his student. "I have an audience with the king in less than an hour, and I should at least look decent if we want him to take these peace negotiations seriously."
"Yes, those are important," Syaoran agreed, coming out of his fog for a moment. Kurogane's eyebrows lifted in surprise; Syaoran, approving the idea of peace between Ceres and Nihon? That was unexpected. But he seemed sincere. Not that the kid was ever anything else.
"So," he said carefully as they pulled outfits and dumped them helter-skelter on the beds and floor, "I hope you didn't get into too much trouble by yourself."
"I didn't!" Syaoran defended himself. "I just... explored the castle a little bit. I found the kitchens."
"Ah." That wasn't a big surprise; boys that age could smell food cooking a mile away. "And did you make any friends?"
A faint red flush spread over Syaoran's nose and cheeks. "Uh -- yeah," he mumbled. "I did -- I did make one friend. We met in the kitchens. She's really nice. She promised to show me some more of the castle after breakfast."
" 'She?' " Kurogane swung around to pin his student with an intense gaze. "Chatting up the local girls already, are you?"
"No!" Syaoran yelped, the blush spreading over his face as he waved his free arm in indignant denial. "It's not like that at all!"
Kurogane frowned deeply, considering the implications of this. It was all very well and good for Syaoran to make friends with the Ruval servants if it would broaden his view of the world a bit. But affairs and scandals would be a little too broad, and could easily blow up on them. "Listen kid, you'd better watch yourself around Ceres girls," he began. "I know you're that age and all, but just remember that just because a girl smiles and flirts with you doesn't mean her father is going to approve. We're not here to get into trouble with the locals."
"I told you it's not like that!" Syaoran dropped his armful of baggage in order to flail with both arms. "She's the most wonderful girl in the whole world! I would never --"
"Look," Kurogane said, holding up one hand in a gesture of warding. "I know how it is. You see a pretty face, and all restraint goes out the window. Even if she's all gung-ho about it, she probably won't be so happy when she gets knocked up, you understand?"
Syaoran sputtered incoherently, his entire face and throat turning a deep purple. Guilty as hell, Kurogane thought. He continued, "The only thing worse than a horde of angry fathers after us would be a potential half-breed paternity suit on our hands. So you promise me that no matter what happens, you'll be careful and use protection."
"I would never --" Syaoran's voice came out a strangled squeak, and he had to hyperventilate for a moment to get enough air to continue. "Why is everyone in this palace so -- I'm not some kind of dirty-minded -- I wouldn't even THINK of doing anything improper --"
"Yeah, yeah," Kurogane waved his student's confused flailing out of the picture. "Just remember that when this is all over, we'll be going back to Edo. And she won't."
That took the wind out of Syaoran's sails, and he deflated to his normal size and coloring. "I know," he mumbled unhappily.
Gods, Kurogane thought. He really had it bad. "So you take care that you don't make trouble for her," he cautioned him. "You just think about what I said."
Syaoran nodded, his face subdued and unhappy. Well, he'd get over it. Kurogane dug through the pile and pulled out a large black sheaf of cloth, the most formal of the kimonos he'd brought with him. "Now," he said, "Help me get this damn thing on. I've got to look all stately and shit."
"Princess, slow down!" Syaoran called out, his feet dragging over the stone steps as he struggled to call out and catch his breath at the same time.
"I already told you, just call me Sakura!" the green-eyed girl up ahead scolded him. "You don't have to use titles, or anything like that!"
"Yes, but that was before I knew -- I mean, who you really were," Syaoran murmured uncertainly.
"But I'm still me," Sakura said firmly. "Nothing's changed!"
Syaoran followed Sakura up onto the roof. His teacher's words from this morning still stuck in his mind -- as much as he wanted to forget them, they had the ring of truth. He really didn't want to make trouble for Sakura, and since she was such an important person, he worried that just spending time with her would be enough to make people disapprove or get angry. At the same time, he didn't want to be without her. When the time came to return to Nihon, he would probably never see her again. As selfish as it was, he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible before that time came.
She was nothing he'd ever expected to find in a princess. Despite her frustrations about being a virtual prisoner in the palace, it soon became obvious that she had plenty of personal freedom. She was allowed to go almost anywhere within the palace -- and she knew every nook and cranny of the palace intimately, and was delighted to share its mysteries with him. It gave him a breathtaking view of the heart of his enemy's country that he'd never dreamed he'd be able to see.
Being in Sakura's company gave him a new perspective on the people of Ceres, too. It was obvious to him -- although not perhaps to Sakura -- that had he been by himself, an unimportant visitor from an enemy land, they would have liked to give him the cold shoulder. With Sakura, however, he saw a whole different side of them. She spoke in Nihongo to everyone they passed, soldiers or servants or court officials, and however reluctant or halting, they responded in the same language. Without that, Syaoran would never have been able to understand them. But without exception everyone was kind to Sakura, happy to see her and willing to extend a begrudging welcome to her strange new companion as well.
It also soon became obvious that every one of the palace guards was completely wrapped around the princess' fingers. Not that she was devious or manipulative in any way, or that she abused her position of power -- but she approached each one with the same sweet, earnest sincerity that no one could have the heart to refuse her any request. Indeed, Syaoran found it hard to imagine anyone who could. Climbing up an endless, dizzying array of stone stairs was not how he'd wanted to spend his day -- but he couldn't even think of refusing her.
"Come on!" Sakura called impatiently from above him on the stairwell; light and cold air spilled down from the direction of her voice. He'd been getting used to the constant warmth and lamplight of the castle. "I want you to see everything -- before the clouds come in again and spoil the view!"
"Coming!" he called, and quickly climbed the rest of the stairs to join her on the platform. A sudden gust of cold wind shocked him, and the sight that met his eyes took his breath away.
They were standing on the roof of a tall tower, rising hundreds of feet above the valley floor below. A few other spires of the palace speared even higher behind them, but this was the tallest one with a flat roof and a trapdoor to give access to the outside air. Above them, the sun shone through flickering shredded clouds, giving brief glimpses of bright blue sky and spilling shifting patterns of light and shadow on the landscape below.
The mountains reared up on three sides, awe-inspiring massifs of rock that dwarfed the majesty of the palace. Green forest gave way to gray stone, then white-frosted slopes of snow that endured even with the coming summer season. To the north they were capped with a brilliant crown of blue ice that threatened to rival the color of the sky above.
Away to the south and east, the valley wound its way down the mountains before it turned southwards towards Nihon -- home. They could look down over the palace walls to the city below, spiky and grey with steep slate roofs designed to shed the snow. In the clear air, the far end of the valley was visible, with tiny buildings and roads snaking across the landscape as it dropped away before them. It made him feel almost like he was falling, plummeting out over the distance.
"I like to come up here sometimes," Sakura said beside him; he turned to look at her, smiling happily as the breeze whipped strands of her hair around her face. "The palace gets so stuffy sometimes; it's always so warm. That's nice in the winter, of course, but sometimes I like to come up here to get a breath of fresh air. This is the only place I can go in the palace where I can really see the sky."
Behind her, a flock of grey and white pigeons -- startled by the abrupt invasion of their roosting space -- took wing. Sakura raised her arms and went on her tiptoes, face lifted to follow their path. "Isn't it amazing?" she said. "I can see everything in the world from up here. I almost feel like I could fly!"
"Yeah," he said, his throat feeling too choked for other words. "It's amazing."
They sat on the roof for a while -- thankfully for Syaoran's nerves, away from the edge. He had a clutching, unreasonable fear that Sakura was going to fall, topple over the edge from a strong gust of wind, and he felt the anxious need to place himself close to her just in case he had to grab her.
"The mountains are really," he said, groping for the right words to express the daunting feeling. "Really big. They feel like… like the edge of the world."
Sakura nodded. "I know what you mean," she said. "But they aren't really, are they? I've seen maps. There are other lands beyond them, lands all around us."
Syaoran stood up and shielded his eyes from the sun with one hand. He pointed to the south and west. "Edo is over there," he said. "Where I live. It's not really that far, but it's hidden by the mountains."
"What about the place you were born?" Sakura said eagerly.
Syaoran half-turned to the east; from here the mountains were massive, impenetrable. "Beyond those mountains is a desert," he said. "Rain comes from the ocean to the west, but it can't get over the mountains, so it doesn't fall much there. Clow is a long, long way from here. You can't cross the desert directly, you have to go around to the south. To get to Edo from there you have to pass through Autozam, and Hanshin, and some other provinces that Nihon rules."
"So many different places," Sakura said softly, looking at the range of mountains as though she could see through them. "I've never seen any of them."
"North is just more mountains," Syaoran said. "And Valeria -- you can't get there from Nihon. They must end somewhere, but nobody has really bothered to explore much beyond them."
Sakura nodded, but she was still looking with longing to the south and east, the direction of Syaoran's homeland.
"Does Clow have its own language?" she asked at length. "I guess not everyone in the world speaks Nihongo."
Syaoran nodded. "Only as far as the outer provinces," he said. "Our language doesn't have much in common with either Ceresian or Nihongo, although it's pretty similar to what they speak in Autozam."
"Could you teach it to me?" she asked shyly.
"W-well," Syaoran stammered, caught off guard by the sudden request. "I don't know how much I'll have a chance to teach you -- you know, before I have to go. But since if you're teaching me some words of your language, it's only fair to teach you some of mine as well."
"Syaoran," Sakura said hesitantly, then looked away shyly. "I know we haven't known each other long, but I…" She ducked her head.
Syaoran felt a strange squirming sensation trying to climb from his stomach up to his head. He cleared his throat and said gruffly, "You what?"
"I'm… really glad you're here," she said at last, looking up to smile sweetly at him. "Before you came, I didn't really have anyone my own age. The only playmate I really had was my cousin Nokoru -- and he's only eleven."
"You didn't have anyone your own age at all!?" Syaoran said, taken aback. "Aren't there any other kids living in the palace -- or in the city? With all these ministers and servants living here, some of them must have families…"
Sakura sighed despondently. "They do," she said. "But I'm not allowed to play with them, because I'm a princess. Thank goodness, Syaoran-kun is an ambassador so that doesn't count!"
"What's it like, being a princess?" he asked after a while, as his curiosity got the better of him. "It seems like it would be pretty amazing."
"Not really," Sakura sighed. "I mean -- I don't mean to sound ungrateful. Everyone in Ruval cares about me, they look out for me. I can have any clothes that I want, and people always give me pretty gifts and jewelry. But --"
"But?" Syaoran ventured cautiously. Privately, he thought this sounded like a pretty good deal to him, and he couldn't see what there was to complain about.
"But I never have anything to do," Sakura burst out, frustration evident in her voice. "I -- oh, I know what this must sound like, complaining of boredom. But it's more than just boredom. I -- I feel like I don't have a purpose here, I don't have a use. I study and study, but there's no point! I may be the King's child, but I'm not a son -- I'm not a true heir, I'll never inherit the throne. And my mother died giving birth to me, and my father never remarried, so there will never be another heir. So what use will I ever be to anyone?"
The force of emotion in her voice took Syaoran aback; he wasn't sure he understood what drove it, but the frustration and sadness in her voice couldn't be denied. "Is it so important, to have a purpose?" he said at last, tentatively. "Most people aren't the heirs to anything either, but they're still happy. Everyone here loves you -- isn't that enough?"
"I wish it could be," Sakura said, sounding defeated. "But…"
Decked out in the formal kimono, Kurogane strode through the brightly lit palace corridors, looking for his companion. He felt uncomfortable being out of his armor and protected only by cloth, and the skirt of the hakama tangled his stride and made him feel ridiculous. Still, he had held onto his swords, and the imposing black folds of the kimono lent him some authority all the same. None of the guards tried to stop him, anyway, some of them nodding respectful salutes and murmuring "Lord Suwa," as he passed.
With the blood bond so recent between them, it was easy to pinpoint Fai's direction, but a bit harder to figure out what hallways actually went that way. When he did actually find him, a burst of happy chatter from the room beyond made him hesitate in the doorway, looking out over the scene.
Fai was surrounded by half a dozen men, all dressed in the bright wizard's robes. Some of them he recognized from his previous stay in Ceres, but he couldn't say that he knew any of them well. With an unusual opportunity to observe and not be watched in return, Kurogane was reminded again of what an odd lot the Ceres wizards were. There was one venerable, white-haired old woman, and one grizzled salt-and-pepper middle-aged man; but most of the wizards appeared as young men in their twenties. Of course, so did Fai; you couldn't judge the age of a wizard by their appearance.
Now that he knew from Fai that the wizards had been gathered from many different countries, it was obvious that they weren't all of the same heritage. At least one man had dark hair and slanted eyes that wouldn't be out of place in Kurogane's own Nihon; another had skin so dark it was almost brown, and curiously wavy black hair. Others had hair of a light brown or sandy blond that seemed more normal for this country, but above them all Fai stood taller by a head, with skin and hair so pale that it almost glowed.
And yet, despite the differences in their appearance and manner, the wizards all shared an obvious bond of fellowship. They looked almost painfully glad to see Fai healthy and strong again, pelting him with congratulations and well-wishes. Watching the camaraderie between them, Kurogane felt more like an outsider than ever before.
Fai's sensitivity to their bond was as acute as his own; without Kurogane moving or saying a word he turned his head towards the doorway, easily spotting Kurogane over the heads of the others. "Kur -- Lord Suwa!" he called out happily, and Kurogane bristled somewhat at the official name. "I thought you'd gotten lost."
"I've been here before you know," Kurogane growled, stalking into the room. The other wizards went suddenly quiet and polite in his presence, keeping a wary distance. That was fine; Fai smiled at him with all the welcome and warmth he could have hoped for, holding out a hand for Kurogane to come and take, and he was the only one in the room that really mattered.
It was a moment before he could tear his gaze away from Fai's, and he cleared his throat as he looked away, embarrassed as a warrior to have lost track of his surroundings even for a brief time. "What are you all looking at?" he demanded.
"So it is true after all," one of the sandy-haired men said, giving them both a knowing glance. "You know, up until right now I didn't quite believe you."
Fai laughed, tightening his hand over Kurogane's fingers before he could pull them away. "Why would I lie to you, Shougo?" he asked lightly. "I told you, once you get past the armor and the growls, my Kuro-sama is just a big softie. You should get to know each other, really. He's a sorcerer like you -- I'm sure you'd have lots of notes to compare!"
Kurogane felt himself flush, seeing knowing smiles spread from one face to the next. "Mage -- " he hissed, but Fai only smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Don’t you all have better things to do?" he snarled instead, turning on his audience.
"As a matter of fact, we do," the middle-aged man said, climbing to his feet and leaning on a staff. He was the shortest man in the room, barely coming up to Kurogane's chest, but that did not diminish his air of authority. "You all have tasks that you need to be seeing to -- get to them," he commanded the assembled wizards. "That's enough time today spent on socializing -- we have little enough to waste."
"Whatever you say, Guru Clef," one of them remarked good-naturedly, and with an air of regret, the impromptu party dispersed.
"Wait, where's Yukito?" Kurogane asked with a frown, watching the men file out. He didn't see his distinctive albino coloring anywhere.
Fai's happy smile transmuted to a frown. "Yukito is not permitted to attend meetings of the wizards right now," he bit out, "by order to the king. I'll have to meet with him separately later -- if nothing else, to show him I'm all right."
"The king?" Kurogane was immediately reminded of his purpose this morning. "I thought you had an audience to see him."
"I do," Fai said with a sigh. They were alone in the little audience chamber now, and he gestured towards the opposite door that Kurogane had come in from. "He's in there now, meeting with the clan lords -- I have to wait until he's finished."
"What do they want?" Kurogane looked at the closed door with a frown.
"Oh, the usual." Fai's smile thinned. "Conquered territory to be distributed among themselves; a larger share of the tax revenues; the ministries disbanded; the wizards humiliated and brought down to their proper 'station,' all that sort of thing."
Kurogane's scowl deepened as he glowered at the invisible figures in the room beyond. "I'll wait here too," he said. "I need to see him, as well; and if he's so all-fired busy as to make you wait, Gods know when I'll get another chance."
Fai merely nodded agreement, his attention clearly elsewhere. "I hope this doesn't take too long," he remarked. "I'd like to see Sakura-chan soon. I don't know where she'd gotten off to now, but I suppose I can usually find her in the kitchens later. I haven't seen her in several weeks, and I'd like to let her know that I'm all right."
"Weeks?" Kurogane asked in surprise. The word 'kitchens' nagged at his attention somewhat; what would a princess be doing in the kitchens? -- but he couldn't pin down what it reminded him of.
Fai's smile faded, and he looked down and fiddled with the cuffs of his formal sleeves. "I didn't want her to see me when I was so ill," he said softly. "So I kept her away. I know that upset her too, but it was for the best. Seeing me so sick would have been too much for her, I think."
"Hmph," Kurogane grunted, thinking it over. "I think you shouldn't underestimate her. She cares about you deeply, you know, and she's stronger than you think."
Fai looked up at him, a tender smile restored to his face. "You like Sakura-chan quite a bit, don't you?" he asked.
Kurogane huffed. "She's the most decent person in this entire palace, and that's including you," he said. "I think she's damn wasted on you people. She's smart and capable. You should be training her for statesmanship -- or maybe as a wizard. Instead, you treat her like a pet to be locked up in her own home, or like a shameful secret that nobody can find out about."
Fai sighed. "It's for everyone's safety, Kuro-sama, not just hers."
Kurogane frowned. "What do you mean?"
Fai glanced around. They were in an empty, sunny chamber, alone but for themselves. He went over to the window embrasure and glanced outside; Kurogane knew that they were several stories up, over a sheer rock wall and a precipitous drop. Reassured, Fai seated himself in the window seat and gestured for Kurogane to join them. He did so; who knew how long Ashura was going to keep them waiting.
"Do you remember what I told you once about magic, Kuro-chan?" Fai began. "That one time in the woods?"
"Most of it," Kurogane shrugged. "A lot of it was over my head at the time, but I still remember the words." The memory of it came back in sharp detail, in fact; the crisp autumn air, the sunlight playing over the bow cradled loosely in Fai's hands as he sat crosslegged on the mossy ground.
Fai nodded. "I told you that there are some types of magic that anyone can learn," he said, "and others that seem to be inborn, unique to that person. Precognition is a type of power like that; it can't be learned or studied, you have to be born with it."
"I know," Kurogane said, thinking of Tomoyo. There were many women who held the position of Tsukuyomi, the court diviner, over the years; but only a few of them were lucky enough to be born as yumemi as well.
"There are other types of inborn power as well; some types of healing, for example, or special sight, which doesn't require wizardry to invoke. And there are some other types of power that are so rare, and so strange, that a person can go their entire lifetime without discovering what it truly is. Are you following me so far?"
Kurogane nodded, somewhat dubiously. "Sakura has a type of power such as that," Fai said. "Something rare, and strange, and powerful. Very powerful -- maybe even more powerful than me."
"That little girl has all that?" Kurogane asked in surprise, thinking over the slight, fluttering figure in his mind. "But she's never shown any sign."
Fai shrugged. "So long as it never manifests actively, no one except a wizard would know. Even Sakura herself doesn't know, because in all her fourteen years we have never begun to understood exactly what kind of power it is."
Kurogane scowled. "Thirteen wizards, and you don't even know what power she has?" he scoffed.
Fai smiled, spreading his hands. "No," he agreed. "The strongest wizards in the world, and we don't have any idea what it is that she can do. That should tell you something, Kuro-chan."
He supposed it should tell him something, but he was mystified. "So, if no one but a wizard would even know she has this power, why all the secrecy surrounding it?
The smile faded, and Fai shook his head, his expression growing troubled. "Because Yukito had a vision," he said quietly. "Almost the first time he set eyes on her, it came on so powerfully that it almost crippled him. He's shared it with all of us. It's clouded -- shadowed in a way that only a vision of a strong magical enemy can be -- but there's no question of the danger. If this vision should ever come to be, then all the world -- not just Ceres, but the world -- could fall under that shadow.
"Someone out there is searching for Princess Sakura, Kuro-chan. Somebody out there wants her power. And if he should get it -- if he should find her somehow -- it would be an utter disaster. Whoever he is, he's tried many times to get a spy inside the palace at Ruval, but we've always been able to stop him -- so far. That's why we have the Eyes, and the other magical defenses. But we still have to be careful."
Kurogane was somewhat taken aback by this portentous foretelling. "Are you serious?" he demanded. "Yukito -- he couldn't be mistaken, could he?"
Fai shook his head again, eyes grave. "He shared it with all of us, as well as the king," he said quietly. "All of the wizards know, and so we understand the importance of keeping Sakura's presence secret. The others, the nobles or palace servants, know about the rule but they don't know why. But now you understand, I hope. I love Sakura dearly, and I don't want her to be unhappy, but this is bigger than her -- bigger than any of us. Sakura must not be seen, must never be found."
~to be continued...
Next ->
Rating: M
Warnings: Violence, sexual content
Summary: In which the visitors learn that there is more to things in Ceres than can be seen on the surface.
<- Previous
The golden afternoon had passed into evening while they were still wrapped up with each other, then to night. Somewhat to Kurogane's surprise, Fai had been right; nobody tried to interrupt them. They spent the time sometimes talking, mostly easing into each others' presence again. One night was not too much to ask, after months of separation.
By the time dawn cracked the horizon again, though, the outside world was making itself felt again; Kurogane's stomach began to give off insistent growls, not having eaten in over a day.
When a tentative knock sounded on the door, Kurogane pushed his sleepy blond partner back towards the pillow and got up to answer it, ignoring Fai's amused expression at the liberty. His clothes were around somewhere; he could only be bothered to locate his trousers and pull them on, and opened the door bare-chested.
He probably traumatized the young boy on the other side of the door when he opened it, judging by the boy's rounding eyes and gape of shock, but that was too damn bad. "What is it?" he growled.
The kid -- couldn't be more than nine or ten years old -- gulped and finally stammered out, "The -- the -- lord Flowright is requested to attend an audience later this afternoon, with the King and his wizards. If -- if he is well enough to go, of course, that is." Worried uncertainty crept into the boy's tone, and he tried to peek around Kurogane's solid body into the rest of the room.
"See for yourself," Kurogane said, moving aside far enough to give a line-of-sight into the room. Fai sat up, tufts of disordered blond hair drifting around his head in a halo, and gave the kid a sleepy smile and wave. The faint glow of health emanating from his skin -- the flesh already beginning to fill out over his bones -- was witness to his momentous recovery.
"Tell King Ashura I will be there," Fai called from the bed, although he did not move to get up immediately -- probably because his own clothes were not easily within reach. He glanced up at Kurogane, and the smile crept over his face again; he added, "And see about breakfast for Kuro-sama here. He traveled much too far without stopping for dinner, and he worked very hard last night."
Kurogane rolled his eyes at the suggestive tone, but couldn't stop a faint heat from creeping into his skin anyway. The page flushed a bright red -- young as he was, there was just no mistaking the situation the two men were in -- and stammered an agreement before fleeing down the stairs.
"Great," Kurogane said disgustedly. "Now he's gone to tell everyone in the palace about us. It'll be the talk of the staff by noon. What are your other wizard friends going to think?"
"They know, Kuro-chan," Fai said in a faintly amused voice. Now that they were safely alone, he slid back the covers and swung his feet to the floor, flexing them back and forth as though to test his strength. The skin of his back was pale, smooth, unmarked; there was no sign any more of the intricate black tattoo that had signed his geas. At least, Kurogane thought, no visible sign. He was bound by chains that cut deeper. "I didn't exactly make it a secret. They won't mind."
Remembering the glares from the day before, Kurogane doubted that, but he didn't press the point. "And what about Ashura?"
Fai stiffened, his smile fading as his expression stilled, and Kurogane almost regretted the question. Fai sighed. "He knows too, of course," he said quietly. "I could hardly hide it from him."
He cannot hide anything from Ashura, even if he tries, Kurogane remembered Yukito once saying. He stifled a sharp pang of anger and annoyance, confining his response to merely a disapproving grunt. "He doesn't like it."
"He'll cope," Fai said with a firmness that was unusual for him. "Somehow or other. I doubt you two will ever become friends --"
Kurogane's snort was all that comment deserved, and Fai smiled again. " -- but he'll simply have to learn to deal with you. Don't look so sour, Kuro-grumpy. You're the Nihon ambassador, after all; like it or not, he'll have no choice but to treat you accordingly."
"Hm." Kurogane watched Fai pick his way slowly around the room, partially enjoying the fluid grace that was restored to his movements; but the rest of his mind had been put in motion by Fai's comment. Up until now all his drive, all his attention had been focused on getting to Ceres and meeting with Fai, making sure that he was all right. Now that it looked like he would be, Kurogane was left to contemplate the situation that they found themselves in.
Fai was right; like it or not, he was the Nihon ambassador. He suppressed a momentary panic at the thought; he wasn't a courtier, he'd never been trained for this duty! He didn't understand politics, he had no skill in diplomacy or negotiation. And he hated parties.
On the other hand, there probably wasn't anyone at court in Nihon -- save perhaps for Prince Touya himself -- who understood both Nihon and Ceres as well as he did. And equally few as motivated to try, at least, to build a lasting peace between their notions. And if nothing else, he comforted himself, the culture here was so different that it wasn't like anyone would know what Nihon court manners he wasn't practicing. No, one way or another, their peaceful vacation time was over; it was time to work.
"So what's going on up here?" Kurogane asked eventually, watching Fai slip into his clothes. He was fascinated by the play of light over patterned cloth, flowing like liquid over that pale skin as Fai pulled the tunic over his head and adjusted the high collar. "Hidden up behind the passes. Nobody in Nihon has a clue what's going on with you these days, and it's making everybody pretty nervous. Or was that the idea?"
Fai sighed, smoothing his hand down over the draping folds of the sleeve. "That wasn't the intention," he said at last, "although I doubt many people are sorry about it. Ashura... Ashura wasn't happy to have you up here, you know."
"That much was obvious," Kurogane snorted.
Fai smiled briefly, but it was fleeting. He came to sit beside Kurogane again on the bed. "For more reasons than the obvious," he said. "If it hadn't been for... well, me, he'd sooner have cut off an arm than let you come back here again. He knows you, and he knows that you're smart and observant and have at least a rudimentary magical background... and you're loyal to the Empress and the High Priestess. Someone like you is the last person he wanted to have up here, exactly because you're going to see too much and understand too much, and report back to them."
Kurogane moved his hand and stroked the tips of his fingers lightly over the ends of Fai's hair, reveling in the sensation of where the soft hair gave way to smooth cloth. "I told Amaterasu that I wasn't coming here as a spy," he said, "and I meant that. But... Nihon is where my allegiance lies. I can't lie to them, or hide truths that could threaten our country. If..." he said, then trailed off, unsure how to phrase his fears. "If Ceres doesn't plan to honor the peace, if you're planning another assault..."
"It's nothing like that," Fai was quick to reassure him, and Kurogane sensed the earnest sincerity of his statement. "Not at all. If anything, it's the opposite."
That piqued Kurogane's interest. "Hm?" he said, keeping his voice noncommittal; although it was a futile effort, since he was sure Fai could sense his interest.
Fai was silent for a long moment, then he sighed. "Ashura wouldn't want me telling you these things," he said in a small voice. "But I will anyway. Because you deserve to know."
That last was said in a fierce tone, and Kurogane couldn't help but notice the choice of words; it wasn't that he needed to know, but that he deserved it. "Tell me," he said quietly.
"What it all comes down to is, Ceres is incredibly overextended," Fai blurted out. "I don't think anyone in Nihon realizes just how much damage their offensive last fall did to us, especially in terms of our population. How many people died, especially our men, the ones grown and healthy enough to go to war. The only reason we were able to survive until spring to counterattack was because we had fewer mouths to feed.
"And now with the new territory acquisitions in southern Ceres, we have to cover three times the ground with less than half the men. We gained arable lands, which was what we wanted -- but we have no farmers to tend them. At the same time we're trying to rebuild the infrastructure that was destroyed, both in the assault and when Yukito pulled out to defend Nihon against the demons. And still shore up our army to a point where we can present even the image of a credible defense against Nihon, spread out over leagues of our suddenly-expanded border -- well...
"We have boys as young as ten wielding halberds on the front lines, we have women and girls working in the crafthalls, we have every able-bodied adult in Ceres working themselves half to death just to maintain the status quo, let alone expand. And the situation won't get any better until the next generation is born and grows up -- and who will nurture and care for them, as well, with fathers stationed out on the borders and women working all day in the fields?"
Kurogane was stunned. He'd had some inkling of the problem -- he'd always known that Ceres was small -- but the sheer daunting impossibility of the task they now faced was overwhelming. "But -- you have the wizards," he started to point out.
Fai laughed, but it was a bitter-laced sound. "Oh yes, the wizards," he said. "The wizards make it all possible. Without magic, we could never even dream of doing all we do. Magic makes the crops grow faster, lets us communicate with the furthest reaches of the borders, lets us transport materials and bodies faster than manual labor ever could. Magic lets us rebuild citadels and pave roads, coax good weather and heal the sick. But you know us, Kuro-kun. You've been here before. How many wizards do we have?"
Kurogane was silent for a moment. "I always thought there must be more, that weren't stationed here, wizards that I never saw," he finally said.
Fai shook his head, sending blond tendrils flying about his face. "You saw all of us, Kuro-tan," he said in a deceptively gentle voice. "Ashura has worked for forty years to build a working core of wizards. In the beginning he had only Guru Clef, and then he had me. And I gave him the idea to build a new army, an unstoppable army, an army of wizards.
"But only a small number of people are truly talented in magic, and the population of Ceres is too small to host very many of them. Ashura and Clef and I spent many years searching through many countries to find potential young wizards, to bring them to Ceres to raise and train. After thirty years of search and rescue, of training and nurturing and study and effort, we had... thirteen adult and fully trained wizards, and handful more apprentices in training. Each one a huge investment that would take decades to replace."
"So few," Fai agreed, a ragged catch in his voice. "Of those thirteen, one died defending Nihon against the demons, and two more have never fully recovered. Yukito is no longer trusted -- he hasn't been permitted to do any of the restoration work, let alone man the defenses. And I... well, as I grew weaker, I became less and less able to help. That left only eight wizards to do the work of an army; we have acolytes filling the roles that really require a trained wizard --"
"I met one of those," Kurogane said, thinking of the obvious inexperience of the young wizard at the pass. "Young lady, blond hair, green eyes. Seemed nervous."
Fai nodded. "Miyuki is a bright girl," he said, "and she'd do well, if she had someone watching over her, to teach her confidence. But no one has the time to spare."
"So you have no army, no workforce," Kurogane mused over the situation out loud, "and the greatest terror of Ceres, the council of wizards, is on its last legs." He shook his head in amazement. "No wonder you were keeping it a secret."
Fai gave another painful laugh. "It gets worse," he said.
"Worse?" Kurogane asked in amazement. "How?"
"Politics," Fai sighed, leaning against Kurogane's side. The ninjas was unsure if he was tired already just from the effort of getting dressed, or just seeking comfort. "Keep in mind that I've heard less of the news and gossip, since I've been ill... but there's a lot of discontent at the court, and support among the nobility is -- well -- fractured is about the kindest word you could say for it."
Kurogane nodded. "Amaterasu said she'd heard there was a schism at court," he recalled.
Fai winced at hearing even this statement of the obvious. "Well, yes," he said. "King Ashura has been strengthening the crown at the expense of the traditional powers of the noble families ever since he took the throne. Building up the power of the stable of Wizards was one of the primary means he used to do this. Conditions were bad enough, and people were desperate enough, that most of the nobles threw their support behind him anyway -- but that never meant that they were going to go into obscurity quietly, or that they would let go of their privileges forever.
"Now that the war is over, and we've gained so much of the land to the south, and it looks like the famine crisis might be over… the noble faction is raising its head again. They're not happy that the King is retaining control over all the conquered lands -- some of which were ancestrally under their control, before Nihon conquered them a hundred years ago. And they've always resented the power -- and privilege -- granted to the wizards, most of whom are common-born, many of whom weren't born in Ceres at all."
"So there's the noble faction on one side," Kurogane mused, "and the royal faction -- which includes the wizards -- on the other side. Makes sense." In some ways it was not unlike the setup of the Nihon government; although the nobles owned the land and by extension the peasantry, the office of the Imperial dynasty had always been granted legitimacy and power by the magical priesthood of the monks and mikos. After all, the emperor was directly descended from the divine goddess; the loyalty of the priesthood would always be with them over the more mundane office of the nobles, and that gave the Emperor an authority that superseded any noble.
"Well," Fai said, and he grimaced, "that was the way it... had been. But now, thanks to the... way the war ended... and to what Yukito did, there's a split between the wizards and the King himself. Yukito himself has been demoted, and the shadow has spilled over all the others as well."
"What?" Kurogane said, staring in astonishment. "He saved our country -- and yours! The wizards' defense of Nihon ended the war in your favor -- it's the only reason why Nihon has been willing to accept a peace treaty at all! They gave Ashura everything he wanted on a platter!"
Fai shook his head, not in denial of what Kurogane was saying exactly. "Ashura doesn't see it that way," he said. "He still dreams of conquest; he never wanted peace. He feels -- betrayed. He built his reign around the creation and nurturing of the wizards, he invested all his power in them... only to have them turn in his hand in the very moment of his triumph. He created the wizards; he never expected them to defy him. But at the same time, his country, his rule, is nothing without them, and he knows it."
"Them?" Kurogane said, catching on a repeated pattern in Fai's words that had been nagging at his attention.
"What?" Fai blinked.
"You keep saying 'the wizards' or 'them,' " Kurogane said, turning his head to watch Fai's expression. "Not 'we' or 'us.' Where do you fit into this? Are you not one of them anymore?"
"I…" Fai opened his mouth, then closed it and shook his head raggedly. "That wasn't what I -- they are still my -- we are still brothers. I wasn't trying to, to say that --"
His distress was so obvious, ambushed by his unconscious choice of words, that Kurogane sorry he'd brought it up. "Never mind," he said firmly, and began petting Fai's hair soothingly, thinking over all that Fai had told him.
"It sounds like it's been hard," he said at last. "But what I don't get is, if you're having so many problems, why aren't you pushing to get a peace treaty signed now when Nihon is still off-balance? Seems like your basic problem is just not enough people, and that's not a problem that's going to go away in a few months or a year. The longer you drag your feet, the harder it's going to be."
"What's a peace treaty worth?" Fai said bitterly. "It's just words. Don't you think, if they realized our weak our position is, how overstretched we are, that Nihon wouldn't jump at a chance to get back at us in an instant?"
Kurogane thought guiltily of the division in his own court, the samurai families screaming for more war, for vengeance and the redemption of honor. But -- "We do have honor as a nation, as a people," he said quietly. "And you have allies at Nihon. Tomoyo, the Crown Prince. You shouldn't discount those so quickly. There are some people who are far-sighted enough to realize that a true alliance will benefit both of us far more in the long run."
Fai's shoulders slumped. "You're right," he muttered. "I know it, and you know it -- but we aren't the ones who sign the treaties, are we? No one at court can agree. The ministers are the only ones pushing the treaty; they want peace at any cost, even if it means concessions of some of the territory we overran. They argue that all the land in the world won't do us any good if we can't administer it."
"Don't think the nobles would like that argument very much," Kurogane commented, and Fai chuckled in agreement, then sighed and continued.
"The nobles hate the ministers almost as much as they hate the wizards, because there are more of them, and they're merit-based rather than by noble blood. And they still control enough of the lands -- and the subjects -- to block any move that any of the other factions try to make. There's not just one schism -- it's a four-way deadlock, and no-one can move forward."
"I had no idea it was such a mess up here," Kurogane said, shaking his head in amazement. "Nobody did. We -- the court at Edo -- just thought that you were toying with us, insulting us by treating us so carelessly."
"Can you blame us for not wanting you to know?" Fai asked, looking away and taking the edge of the blanket in both hands, wrapping his fingers tightly in the linen. "Is it really so hard to understand why we wouldn't want you to see us like this, at our weakest and most vulnerable?"
They weren't talking about politics any more, and Kurogane knew it. He sat up, and put his arms around Fai's shoulders. "Maybe you should give us a chance," he said into Fai's ear. "Maybe we would surprise you."
Fai shivered, and bowed his head forward in acquiescence.
"Where have you been?" Kurogane asked ungraciously as Syaoran entered the room. The kid had been missing all morning; now he drifted in with a dazed look on his face, practically floating an inch off the ground.
The look his student gave him was surprised and reproachful. "I was here last night and this morning," he said. "You never came back, I never heard another word about you. You could have been dead in a ditch for all I knew."
Kurogane only 'hmph'ed in response, feeling an unaccustomed guilt for how ruthlessly he had abandoned the boy the other night. He knew he was responsible for him, but he'd simply had too much else on his mind. Now, he studied Syaoran narrowly, trying to gauge his state of mind. The boy didn't look furtive or guilty, like he was trying to hide any indiscretion on his own part. He just looked... thoughtful, the same absorbed look he got when he had his nose stuck in a book, right before he walked off the porch with it and tripped on his face.
"Show me where you put all my stuff," he ordered his student. "I have an audience with the king in less than an hour, and I should at least look decent if we want him to take these peace negotiations seriously."
"Yes, those are important," Syaoran agreed, coming out of his fog for a moment. Kurogane's eyebrows lifted in surprise; Syaoran, approving the idea of peace between Ceres and Nihon? That was unexpected. But he seemed sincere. Not that the kid was ever anything else.
"So," he said carefully as they pulled outfits and dumped them helter-skelter on the beds and floor, "I hope you didn't get into too much trouble by yourself."
"I didn't!" Syaoran defended himself. "I just... explored the castle a little bit. I found the kitchens."
"Ah." That wasn't a big surprise; boys that age could smell food cooking a mile away. "And did you make any friends?"
A faint red flush spread over Syaoran's nose and cheeks. "Uh -- yeah," he mumbled. "I did -- I did make one friend. We met in the kitchens. She's really nice. She promised to show me some more of the castle after breakfast."
" 'She?' " Kurogane swung around to pin his student with an intense gaze. "Chatting up the local girls already, are you?"
"No!" Syaoran yelped, the blush spreading over his face as he waved his free arm in indignant denial. "It's not like that at all!"
Kurogane frowned deeply, considering the implications of this. It was all very well and good for Syaoran to make friends with the Ruval servants if it would broaden his view of the world a bit. But affairs and scandals would be a little too broad, and could easily blow up on them. "Listen kid, you'd better watch yourself around Ceres girls," he began. "I know you're that age and all, but just remember that just because a girl smiles and flirts with you doesn't mean her father is going to approve. We're not here to get into trouble with the locals."
"I told you it's not like that!" Syaoran dropped his armful of baggage in order to flail with both arms. "She's the most wonderful girl in the whole world! I would never --"
"Look," Kurogane said, holding up one hand in a gesture of warding. "I know how it is. You see a pretty face, and all restraint goes out the window. Even if she's all gung-ho about it, she probably won't be so happy when she gets knocked up, you understand?"
Syaoran sputtered incoherently, his entire face and throat turning a deep purple. Guilty as hell, Kurogane thought. He continued, "The only thing worse than a horde of angry fathers after us would be a potential half-breed paternity suit on our hands. So you promise me that no matter what happens, you'll be careful and use protection."
"I would never --" Syaoran's voice came out a strangled squeak, and he had to hyperventilate for a moment to get enough air to continue. "Why is everyone in this palace so -- I'm not some kind of dirty-minded -- I wouldn't even THINK of doing anything improper --"
"Yeah, yeah," Kurogane waved his student's confused flailing out of the picture. "Just remember that when this is all over, we'll be going back to Edo. And she won't."
That took the wind out of Syaoran's sails, and he deflated to his normal size and coloring. "I know," he mumbled unhappily.
Gods, Kurogane thought. He really had it bad. "So you take care that you don't make trouble for her," he cautioned him. "You just think about what I said."
Syaoran nodded, his face subdued and unhappy. Well, he'd get over it. Kurogane dug through the pile and pulled out a large black sheaf of cloth, the most formal of the kimonos he'd brought with him. "Now," he said, "Help me get this damn thing on. I've got to look all stately and shit."
"Princess, slow down!" Syaoran called out, his feet dragging over the stone steps as he struggled to call out and catch his breath at the same time.
"I already told you, just call me Sakura!" the green-eyed girl up ahead scolded him. "You don't have to use titles, or anything like that!"
"Yes, but that was before I knew -- I mean, who you really were," Syaoran murmured uncertainly.
"But I'm still me," Sakura said firmly. "Nothing's changed!"
Syaoran followed Sakura up onto the roof. His teacher's words from this morning still stuck in his mind -- as much as he wanted to forget them, they had the ring of truth. He really didn't want to make trouble for Sakura, and since she was such an important person, he worried that just spending time with her would be enough to make people disapprove or get angry. At the same time, he didn't want to be without her. When the time came to return to Nihon, he would probably never see her again. As selfish as it was, he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible before that time came.
She was nothing he'd ever expected to find in a princess. Despite her frustrations about being a virtual prisoner in the palace, it soon became obvious that she had plenty of personal freedom. She was allowed to go almost anywhere within the palace -- and she knew every nook and cranny of the palace intimately, and was delighted to share its mysteries with him. It gave him a breathtaking view of the heart of his enemy's country that he'd never dreamed he'd be able to see.
Being in Sakura's company gave him a new perspective on the people of Ceres, too. It was obvious to him -- although not perhaps to Sakura -- that had he been by himself, an unimportant visitor from an enemy land, they would have liked to give him the cold shoulder. With Sakura, however, he saw a whole different side of them. She spoke in Nihongo to everyone they passed, soldiers or servants or court officials, and however reluctant or halting, they responded in the same language. Without that, Syaoran would never have been able to understand them. But without exception everyone was kind to Sakura, happy to see her and willing to extend a begrudging welcome to her strange new companion as well.
It also soon became obvious that every one of the palace guards was completely wrapped around the princess' fingers. Not that she was devious or manipulative in any way, or that she abused her position of power -- but she approached each one with the same sweet, earnest sincerity that no one could have the heart to refuse her any request. Indeed, Syaoran found it hard to imagine anyone who could. Climbing up an endless, dizzying array of stone stairs was not how he'd wanted to spend his day -- but he couldn't even think of refusing her.
"Come on!" Sakura called impatiently from above him on the stairwell; light and cold air spilled down from the direction of her voice. He'd been getting used to the constant warmth and lamplight of the castle. "I want you to see everything -- before the clouds come in again and spoil the view!"
"Coming!" he called, and quickly climbed the rest of the stairs to join her on the platform. A sudden gust of cold wind shocked him, and the sight that met his eyes took his breath away.
They were standing on the roof of a tall tower, rising hundreds of feet above the valley floor below. A few other spires of the palace speared even higher behind them, but this was the tallest one with a flat roof and a trapdoor to give access to the outside air. Above them, the sun shone through flickering shredded clouds, giving brief glimpses of bright blue sky and spilling shifting patterns of light and shadow on the landscape below.
The mountains reared up on three sides, awe-inspiring massifs of rock that dwarfed the majesty of the palace. Green forest gave way to gray stone, then white-frosted slopes of snow that endured even with the coming summer season. To the north they were capped with a brilliant crown of blue ice that threatened to rival the color of the sky above.
Away to the south and east, the valley wound its way down the mountains before it turned southwards towards Nihon -- home. They could look down over the palace walls to the city below, spiky and grey with steep slate roofs designed to shed the snow. In the clear air, the far end of the valley was visible, with tiny buildings and roads snaking across the landscape as it dropped away before them. It made him feel almost like he was falling, plummeting out over the distance.
"I like to come up here sometimes," Sakura said beside him; he turned to look at her, smiling happily as the breeze whipped strands of her hair around her face. "The palace gets so stuffy sometimes; it's always so warm. That's nice in the winter, of course, but sometimes I like to come up here to get a breath of fresh air. This is the only place I can go in the palace where I can really see the sky."
Behind her, a flock of grey and white pigeons -- startled by the abrupt invasion of their roosting space -- took wing. Sakura raised her arms and went on her tiptoes, face lifted to follow their path. "Isn't it amazing?" she said. "I can see everything in the world from up here. I almost feel like I could fly!"
"Yeah," he said, his throat feeling too choked for other words. "It's amazing."
They sat on the roof for a while -- thankfully for Syaoran's nerves, away from the edge. He had a clutching, unreasonable fear that Sakura was going to fall, topple over the edge from a strong gust of wind, and he felt the anxious need to place himself close to her just in case he had to grab her.
"The mountains are really," he said, groping for the right words to express the daunting feeling. "Really big. They feel like… like the edge of the world."
Sakura nodded. "I know what you mean," she said. "But they aren't really, are they? I've seen maps. There are other lands beyond them, lands all around us."
Syaoran stood up and shielded his eyes from the sun with one hand. He pointed to the south and west. "Edo is over there," he said. "Where I live. It's not really that far, but it's hidden by the mountains."
"What about the place you were born?" Sakura said eagerly.
Syaoran half-turned to the east; from here the mountains were massive, impenetrable. "Beyond those mountains is a desert," he said. "Rain comes from the ocean to the west, but it can't get over the mountains, so it doesn't fall much there. Clow is a long, long way from here. You can't cross the desert directly, you have to go around to the south. To get to Edo from there you have to pass through Autozam, and Hanshin, and some other provinces that Nihon rules."
"So many different places," Sakura said softly, looking at the range of mountains as though she could see through them. "I've never seen any of them."
"North is just more mountains," Syaoran said. "And Valeria -- you can't get there from Nihon. They must end somewhere, but nobody has really bothered to explore much beyond them."
Sakura nodded, but she was still looking with longing to the south and east, the direction of Syaoran's homeland.
"Does Clow have its own language?" she asked at length. "I guess not everyone in the world speaks Nihongo."
Syaoran nodded. "Only as far as the outer provinces," he said. "Our language doesn't have much in common with either Ceresian or Nihongo, although it's pretty similar to what they speak in Autozam."
"Could you teach it to me?" she asked shyly.
"W-well," Syaoran stammered, caught off guard by the sudden request. "I don't know how much I'll have a chance to teach you -- you know, before I have to go. But since if you're teaching me some words of your language, it's only fair to teach you some of mine as well."
"Syaoran," Sakura said hesitantly, then looked away shyly. "I know we haven't known each other long, but I…" She ducked her head.
Syaoran felt a strange squirming sensation trying to climb from his stomach up to his head. He cleared his throat and said gruffly, "You what?"
"I'm… really glad you're here," she said at last, looking up to smile sweetly at him. "Before you came, I didn't really have anyone my own age. The only playmate I really had was my cousin Nokoru -- and he's only eleven."
"You didn't have anyone your own age at all!?" Syaoran said, taken aback. "Aren't there any other kids living in the palace -- or in the city? With all these ministers and servants living here, some of them must have families…"
Sakura sighed despondently. "They do," she said. "But I'm not allowed to play with them, because I'm a princess. Thank goodness, Syaoran-kun is an ambassador so that doesn't count!"
"What's it like, being a princess?" he asked after a while, as his curiosity got the better of him. "It seems like it would be pretty amazing."
"Not really," Sakura sighed. "I mean -- I don't mean to sound ungrateful. Everyone in Ruval cares about me, they look out for me. I can have any clothes that I want, and people always give me pretty gifts and jewelry. But --"
"But?" Syaoran ventured cautiously. Privately, he thought this sounded like a pretty good deal to him, and he couldn't see what there was to complain about.
"But I never have anything to do," Sakura burst out, frustration evident in her voice. "I -- oh, I know what this must sound like, complaining of boredom. But it's more than just boredom. I -- I feel like I don't have a purpose here, I don't have a use. I study and study, but there's no point! I may be the King's child, but I'm not a son -- I'm not a true heir, I'll never inherit the throne. And my mother died giving birth to me, and my father never remarried, so there will never be another heir. So what use will I ever be to anyone?"
The force of emotion in her voice took Syaoran aback; he wasn't sure he understood what drove it, but the frustration and sadness in her voice couldn't be denied. "Is it so important, to have a purpose?" he said at last, tentatively. "Most people aren't the heirs to anything either, but they're still happy. Everyone here loves you -- isn't that enough?"
"I wish it could be," Sakura said, sounding defeated. "But…"
She paused a moment, tilting her head up to look at him consideringly. A spark of mischief was beginning to dance in her eyes. "Syaoran," she said, "can you keep a secret?"
Decked out in the formal kimono, Kurogane strode through the brightly lit palace corridors, looking for his companion. He felt uncomfortable being out of his armor and protected only by cloth, and the skirt of the hakama tangled his stride and made him feel ridiculous. Still, he had held onto his swords, and the imposing black folds of the kimono lent him some authority all the same. None of the guards tried to stop him, anyway, some of them nodding respectful salutes and murmuring "Lord Suwa," as he passed.
With the blood bond so recent between them, it was easy to pinpoint Fai's direction, but a bit harder to figure out what hallways actually went that way. When he did actually find him, a burst of happy chatter from the room beyond made him hesitate in the doorway, looking out over the scene.
Fai was surrounded by half a dozen men, all dressed in the bright wizard's robes. Some of them he recognized from his previous stay in Ceres, but he couldn't say that he knew any of them well. With an unusual opportunity to observe and not be watched in return, Kurogane was reminded again of what an odd lot the Ceres wizards were. There was one venerable, white-haired old woman, and one grizzled salt-and-pepper middle-aged man; but most of the wizards appeared as young men in their twenties. Of course, so did Fai; you couldn't judge the age of a wizard by their appearance.
Now that he knew from Fai that the wizards had been gathered from many different countries, it was obvious that they weren't all of the same heritage. At least one man had dark hair and slanted eyes that wouldn't be out of place in Kurogane's own Nihon; another had skin so dark it was almost brown, and curiously wavy black hair. Others had hair of a light brown or sandy blond that seemed more normal for this country, but above them all Fai stood taller by a head, with skin and hair so pale that it almost glowed.
And yet, despite the differences in their appearance and manner, the wizards all shared an obvious bond of fellowship. They looked almost painfully glad to see Fai healthy and strong again, pelting him with congratulations and well-wishes. Watching the camaraderie between them, Kurogane felt more like an outsider than ever before.
Fai's sensitivity to their bond was as acute as his own; without Kurogane moving or saying a word he turned his head towards the doorway, easily spotting Kurogane over the heads of the others. "Kur -- Lord Suwa!" he called out happily, and Kurogane bristled somewhat at the official name. "I thought you'd gotten lost."
"I've been here before you know," Kurogane growled, stalking into the room. The other wizards went suddenly quiet and polite in his presence, keeping a wary distance. That was fine; Fai smiled at him with all the welcome and warmth he could have hoped for, holding out a hand for Kurogane to come and take, and he was the only one in the room that really mattered.
It was a moment before he could tear his gaze away from Fai's, and he cleared his throat as he looked away, embarrassed as a warrior to have lost track of his surroundings even for a brief time. "What are you all looking at?" he demanded.
"So it is true after all," one of the sandy-haired men said, giving them both a knowing glance. "You know, up until right now I didn't quite believe you."
Fai laughed, tightening his hand over Kurogane's fingers before he could pull them away. "Why would I lie to you, Shougo?" he asked lightly. "I told you, once you get past the armor and the growls, my Kuro-sama is just a big softie. You should get to know each other, really. He's a sorcerer like you -- I'm sure you'd have lots of notes to compare!"
Kurogane felt himself flush, seeing knowing smiles spread from one face to the next. "Mage -- " he hissed, but Fai only smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Don’t you all have better things to do?" he snarled instead, turning on his audience.
"As a matter of fact, we do," the middle-aged man said, climbing to his feet and leaning on a staff. He was the shortest man in the room, barely coming up to Kurogane's chest, but that did not diminish his air of authority. "You all have tasks that you need to be seeing to -- get to them," he commanded the assembled wizards. "That's enough time today spent on socializing -- we have little enough to waste."
"Whatever you say, Guru Clef," one of them remarked good-naturedly, and with an air of regret, the impromptu party dispersed.
"Wait, where's Yukito?" Kurogane asked with a frown, watching the men file out. He didn't see his distinctive albino coloring anywhere.
Fai's happy smile transmuted to a frown. "Yukito is not permitted to attend meetings of the wizards right now," he bit out, "by order to the king. I'll have to meet with him separately later -- if nothing else, to show him I'm all right."
"The king?" Kurogane was immediately reminded of his purpose this morning. "I thought you had an audience to see him."
"I do," Fai said with a sigh. They were alone in the little audience chamber now, and he gestured towards the opposite door that Kurogane had come in from. "He's in there now, meeting with the clan lords -- I have to wait until he's finished."
"What do they want?" Kurogane looked at the closed door with a frown.
"Oh, the usual." Fai's smile thinned. "Conquered territory to be distributed among themselves; a larger share of the tax revenues; the ministries disbanded; the wizards humiliated and brought down to their proper 'station,' all that sort of thing."
Kurogane's scowl deepened as he glowered at the invisible figures in the room beyond. "I'll wait here too," he said. "I need to see him, as well; and if he's so all-fired busy as to make you wait, Gods know when I'll get another chance."
Fai merely nodded agreement, his attention clearly elsewhere. "I hope this doesn't take too long," he remarked. "I'd like to see Sakura-chan soon. I don't know where she'd gotten off to now, but I suppose I can usually find her in the kitchens later. I haven't seen her in several weeks, and I'd like to let her know that I'm all right."
"Weeks?" Kurogane asked in surprise. The word 'kitchens' nagged at his attention somewhat; what would a princess be doing in the kitchens? -- but he couldn't pin down what it reminded him of.
Fai's smile faded, and he looked down and fiddled with the cuffs of his formal sleeves. "I didn't want her to see me when I was so ill," he said softly. "So I kept her away. I know that upset her too, but it was for the best. Seeing me so sick would have been too much for her, I think."
"Hmph," Kurogane grunted, thinking it over. "I think you shouldn't underestimate her. She cares about you deeply, you know, and she's stronger than you think."
Fai looked up at him, a tender smile restored to his face. "You like Sakura-chan quite a bit, don't you?" he asked.
Kurogane huffed. "She's the most decent person in this entire palace, and that's including you," he said. "I think she's damn wasted on you people. She's smart and capable. You should be training her for statesmanship -- or maybe as a wizard. Instead, you treat her like a pet to be locked up in her own home, or like a shameful secret that nobody can find out about."
Fai sighed. "It's for everyone's safety, Kuro-sama, not just hers."
Kurogane frowned. "What do you mean?"
Fai glanced around. They were in an empty, sunny chamber, alone but for themselves. He went over to the window embrasure and glanced outside; Kurogane knew that they were several stories up, over a sheer rock wall and a precipitous drop. Reassured, Fai seated himself in the window seat and gestured for Kurogane to join them. He did so; who knew how long Ashura was going to keep them waiting.
"Do you remember what I told you once about magic, Kuro-chan?" Fai began. "That one time in the woods?"
"Most of it," Kurogane shrugged. "A lot of it was over my head at the time, but I still remember the words." The memory of it came back in sharp detail, in fact; the crisp autumn air, the sunlight playing over the bow cradled loosely in Fai's hands as he sat crosslegged on the mossy ground.
Fai nodded. "I told you that there are some types of magic that anyone can learn," he said, "and others that seem to be inborn, unique to that person. Precognition is a type of power like that; it can't be learned or studied, you have to be born with it."
"I know," Kurogane said, thinking of Tomoyo. There were many women who held the position of Tsukuyomi, the court diviner, over the years; but only a few of them were lucky enough to be born as yumemi as well.
"There are other types of inborn power as well; some types of healing, for example, or special sight, which doesn't require wizardry to invoke. And there are some other types of power that are so rare, and so strange, that a person can go their entire lifetime without discovering what it truly is. Are you following me so far?"
Kurogane nodded, somewhat dubiously. "Sakura has a type of power such as that," Fai said. "Something rare, and strange, and powerful. Very powerful -- maybe even more powerful than me."
"That little girl has all that?" Kurogane asked in surprise, thinking over the slight, fluttering figure in his mind. "But she's never shown any sign."
Fai shrugged. "So long as it never manifests actively, no one except a wizard would know. Even Sakura herself doesn't know, because in all her fourteen years we have never begun to understood exactly what kind of power it is."
Kurogane scowled. "Thirteen wizards, and you don't even know what power she has?" he scoffed.
Fai smiled, spreading his hands. "No," he agreed. "The strongest wizards in the world, and we don't have any idea what it is that she can do. That should tell you something, Kuro-chan."
He supposed it should tell him something, but he was mystified. "So, if no one but a wizard would even know she has this power, why all the secrecy surrounding it?
The smile faded, and Fai shook his head, his expression growing troubled. "Because Yukito had a vision," he said quietly. "Almost the first time he set eyes on her, it came on so powerfully that it almost crippled him. He's shared it with all of us. It's clouded -- shadowed in a way that only a vision of a strong magical enemy can be -- but there's no question of the danger. If this vision should ever come to be, then all the world -- not just Ceres, but the world -- could fall under that shadow.
"Someone out there is searching for Princess Sakura, Kuro-chan. Somebody out there wants her power. And if he should get it -- if he should find her somehow -- it would be an utter disaster. Whoever he is, he's tried many times to get a spy inside the palace at Ruval, but we've always been able to stop him -- so far. That's why we have the Eyes, and the other magical defenses. But we still have to be careful."
Kurogane was somewhat taken aback by this portentous foretelling. "Are you serious?" he demanded. "Yukito -- he couldn't be mistaken, could he?"
Fai shook his head again, eyes grave. "He shared it with all of us, as well as the king," he said quietly. "All of the wizards know, and so we understand the importance of keeping Sakura's presence secret. The others, the nobles or palace servants, know about the rule but they don't know why. But now you understand, I hope. I love Sakura dearly, and I don't want her to be unhappy, but this is bigger than her -- bigger than any of us. Sakura must not be seen, must never be found."
~to be continued...
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