mikkeneko: (is edward elric)
[personal profile] mikkeneko
Title: Miasma
Rating: PG
Pairings: None
Category: Gen, humor
Spoilers: None



The more crowded the trains got, the more noticeable it became. Out in the boonies, where the trains came only once or twice a day (if that,) and carried only a handful of paseengers, it could perhaps be expected that people would space themselves out more widely. But as they closed into Central, passing from one train line to another and through more and more populated stations, it became obvious what was going on.

No-one wanted to sit next to the Elric brothers. Nobody seemed to even want to get near them. Maybe out in the middle of nowhere that was understandable -- a seven-foot-tall suit of armor was pretty intimidating, after all, if there were no security personnel around. Here in the city, people were used to that sort of thing, and although the train guards couldn't have laid a hand on Ed or Al on their best day, the other passengers didn't have to know that.

No, it wasn't Al that was the problem.

"It sucks, being a dog of the military," Ed grumbled, sliding a little further down in his seat. Across the aisle, a woman with a bun and a black purse sniffed disdainfully, and moved a seat further away. The seats on either side of the Elrics were already empty, as two other women had opted to stand and hold the handrails rather than sit by them, despite the crowding in the car.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with you, Brother," Al said loyally, and Ed scowled. At the very least, he consoled himself, he didn't think it was Al that the passengers were snubbing. Al had an amazing ability to make himself unobtrusive, and Ed's silver watch usually acted as a lightning rod for other people's contempt and discontent.

"--show a little basic decency?" hissed a female voice, at the very edge of their hearing. Ed stiffened. There were a few mutters behind closed hands, and at least one man was actually openly glaring at them. He didn't let himself respond, though; he had far too much practice with this.

"I knew what I was getting myself into when I made this choice, Al," Ed said, rather more fatalistically than he actually felt. He scratched the back of his neck. After a week-long mission out in nowhere towns with the most rustic of inns, he was more than ready to collapse into a real bed and eat a nice hot cow or two. He was not in the mood to deal with this now. After a moment, he added, "You'd think people in Central would be more used to State Alchemists, though. It's not like their damn headquarters are in this city, or anything."

"Maybe that's why," Al offered. "Still, I don't think it's fair. You aren't like the other State Alchemists. You're the People's Alchemist. Don't they realize that?"

Ed scowled. They had to recognize him, didn't they? Otherwise how would they know he was an Alchemist at all -- he didn't wear a uniform, and he didn't carry his watch obviously. But as the youngest State Alchemist ever to pass the exam, he'd gotten a lot of noterity in Central, and then even more as a hero in the East. Didn't these people realize that?

The train slowed. "Seventh Street Station," the voice of the trainmaster singsonged over the PA. "Next stop, Central Square Station, end of the line."

"Come on, Al," Ed said abruptly, standing up against the lurching train and grabbing his suitcase. "Let's get off here. We can visit the Major before we report in."

As they off-boarded the train, people pointedly drew out of their way and turned their faces aside. Ed ignored them. Let them think what they wanted! Al knew there was nothing wrong with him, and of all the people in the world Al should know him best. Right?

They found Major Hughes out working in his lawn, puttering between the hedges with a pair of clippers and a hose. Elysia was nearby, of course; but she was intent on doing something very important with mud and didn't see her 'big brothers' approach.

"Yo, Ed!" Hughes greeted them, setting down the clippers and lifting a hand as they approached. "Long time no see, Al. You boys must have just gotten in from an assignment. Will you be in Central long? Elysia has been dying to see you!"

"Yeah, but we'll be busy most of the time," Ed replied. "We've got tonight off, though, so maybe... if you guys wouldn't mind a few guests for dinner..." He sucked in his cheeks and aimed a wide-eyed, starving look at Hughes, who laughed. Al would have smiled, if he could; Ed always had just one thing on his mind.

"At five o'clock, then," Hughes agreed easily. Then a peculiar expression crossed over his face. "But before then..."

And calmly, he turned the hose on Ed. There was an indignant squawk, a sputtering and spraying and flapping or red cloth and gold hair; Al squeaked alarm and edged away from the stream of water.

Ed emerged a moment later, sputtering and spitting water. "What did you do that for?!" Ed screeched, more than a little wild-eyed. "Major, I thought we were friends!"

"We are friends," Hughes replied with an easy grin. "But we'll be much better friends after you go and get a bath. Ed, you smell."

Date: 2006-07-16 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cryogenia.livejournal.com
XDDD This was the best way to combine those two images, ever :))))

Date: 2006-10-04 03:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ildreen-love.livejournal.com
lmao Your icon is so freaking funny! XDD

Date: 2006-07-16 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rurounitriv.livejournal.com
ROFL Yep, teenaged boy there. XD

Date: 2006-07-16 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hieronymousb.livejournal.com
Have I mentioned lately how much I missed your humour fics? So nice to see some again, what with this and the TKKN contest. Your humour fics were the first works of yours that I read (even before "Temperance"!), so to me, they will always be like the heart of Mikkefic. XD

Date: 2006-07-16 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jade-pen.livejournal.com
*snickers* That... was awesome. Definitely something that I could see happening with Edward, and considering how single-minded both Elrics are, I'd be a bit shocked if something like that didn't happen.

Date: 2006-07-17 12:05 am (UTC)

Date: 2006-07-17 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tavella.livejournal.com
Hee. Well, Ed does appear to carry only one set of clothes through his entire four or five years of travel...

Date: 2006-07-18 07:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wiccat.livejournal.com
LMAO! Hey, I read this one! Go me! Yeah, agreeing with Amber there, LOVE your humor fics <3<3<3<3

Date: 2006-07-23 11:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asidian.livejournal.com
Bwahaha! Talk about misreading the signs. XD;;;

This was hilarious and random, and the line about Elysia doing something important with mud was adorably well-placed. ^___^

Date: 2006-09-30 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bedsidelight.livejournal.com
Well-written fic. Never thought about that until the last line XD

Date: 2006-09-30 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rabid-plotbunny.livejournal.com
*giggle* Love it!

I sorta wondered if that was the case with the aversion (taking the title into consideration), but it was nice that it wasn't concrete until the very end! Poor Al, traveling with Stink-E. Elric and not even knowing it! XP

Date: 2006-09-30 07:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baeckahaesten.livejournal.com
That was wonderfully funny ^^

Date: 2006-10-03 02:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] climbatize.livejournal.com
XD This was really wonderful. I love how they think it's because Ed's a State Alchemist.

Date: 2006-10-03 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] c-b-syndrome.livejournal.com
*sporfle* XD

That was too cute!

Date: 2006-10-03 05:09 pm (UTC)
ext_1317021: (A name tag of sorts.)
From: [identity profile] tumut.livejournal.com
xDDD! LMAO.

Date: 2006-10-03 05:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] velvet-mace.livejournal.com
Good going Hughes! LOL!!!

Date: 2006-10-03 08:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daniela-lynx.livejournal.com
ROFL! And Hughes saves the day! XDDDDD

Ah, the problem with small lost inns and too little time... XD

Date: 2006-10-04 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chrstphrl.livejournal.com
HaHaHaHa! Poor Ed. HE certainly wouldn't think of bathing and Al can't smell. Brilliant.

Date: 2006-10-04 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ildreen-love.livejournal.com
lol
I really liked it! Poor Ed, no one told him he needed a bath! And Al couldn't notice... XD

Date: 2006-10-05 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redthemister.livejournal.com
Haha... sad part was, I pretty much figured out by the title and the first couple lines what was wrong with Ed, but it was still funny! <3

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