Relationship meme!
May. 21st, 2012 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mikkenekoI'm reviving this meme, but with a slight twist: Instead of asking me about one specific character, ask me about a relationship. It doesn't have to be a romantic or sexual relationship (although it can be;) any two people who know each other and have a history. Kurogane+Syaoran, Fai+Sakura, Yuuko+Watanuki, anything you like... and I will tell you my Thoughts On
Name me a pair of characters from one of my fandoms (GW, TRC, or FMA), and I will tell you:
* How I feel about their relationship
* The high point and the low point of their relationship
* My unpopular opinion about their relationship
* One thing I wish would happen / had happened with these two in canon
* Something about them I consider true, though it's just head canon
* A ficlet (100~500 words) of them having a quiet moment together
Fire away, although as per usual I add the disclaimer that if I think you're trollin' me (say, asking about Muraki and Tsuzuki from Yami no Matsuei) I will decline to fill the prompt.
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Date: 2012-05-22 06:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 05:13 am (UTC)Fai started out not giving a fuck about any of the others, and with more justification for it than Kurogane -- but he wasn't able to stay aloof for long. And Syaoran's unhappiness and determination quickly won him over. Fai acted as a mentor, friend and protector for Syaoran -- not always as obviously so as Kurogane, but in very important ways. I think I best remember the moment from Piffle country where Fai gives Syaoran some very wise advice on changing the future that Syaoran really needed to hear.
2) Low point -- I'm gonna say the point where Syaoran ripped Fai's eye out and ate it.
High point -- when Syaoran died, and Fai's eye was returned, and Fai said "It would have been much much better if you had come home." After everything Syaoran has done -- and done to HIM -- all Fai wanted was to have their family back.
DAMN. I CRIED IRL. Kinda tearing up now ngl.
3) I don't actually know whether this is an unpopular opinion or not, but basically here goes:
Tsubasa is not Syaoran. His relationship with Fai, and vice versa, does not figure in to Fai's relationship with Syaoran. Although Fai seems to like Tsubasa well enough, I think he does so out of a feeling familial obligation -- wishing to look after the son of the boy he loved. He might have come to love Tsubasa in his own right given time together, but they will never be the same person in Fai's heart.
This is one of the reasons I honestly have trouble with the TRC ending, and it's a small source of misgivings when I read post-series fic which conflates the two of them -- having Fai treat Tsubasa as though he's an extension of (or the same as) Syaoran, referring to events that happened when Tsubasa wasn't present or likes and interests that Syaoran has that Tsubasa doesn't share.
4) Well, I'm not sure this counts because Syaoran did get a chance to make amends for what he did to Fai; he returned his eye and said he was sorry, and they got a chance to say goodbye as Syaoran died. I guess I wish that Fai could have met Syaoran has his adult, reborn self; so he could see the man that his foster-son would become, and the family he would build on his own. Maybe they still can, damn it, if Syaoran finds a way to restore his parents! But it doesn't happen in fanfic often. Or ever. :\
5) I don't really have any special headcanons for these two.
6)
In this world, Kurogane's Maganyan came in a series of hastily printed books on cheap paper and cramped typefont -- penny dreadfuls, the locals called them, and the name was fair. Kurogane had been disgusted to find that the story he'd followed from world to world was told here entirely in text, with hardly any illustrations at all -- but there were other ongoing stories, many serials bound together in a single volume in an attempt to convince people to buy each collection as they came out. And certain other members of their party, at least, were hooked.
"Waaaaaiii, waaaaaiii! New issue, new issue!" Fai cheered as he bounced off through the house, his voice floating back down the stairs. Syaoran shook his head in bemusement and followed, leaving the remainder of the shopping supplies on the table for the time being. None of it would spoil.
In this world it was common for whole families to sleep together in one room, and so they hadn't paired off into separate rooms as they often did. Instead Syaoran, Kurogane and Fai all shared the enormous wooden four-poster bed, and Sakura got the smaller truckle bed that slid out from underneath the furniture leviathan. It wasn't quite what Syaoran's propriety would have demanded -- he still felt uncomfortable to share a bedroom with Sakura, whatever the circumstances -- but a series of light folding screens at least afforded the princess some privacy.
Fai was in bedroom when Syaoran got there, bouncing on the big bed's fluffy mattress. Syaoran could understand the temptation -- the bolster was truly massive, and the wooden frame beneath more than sturdy enough to resist a little jumping. Still, Syaoran was struck again by the disparity sometimes between how old Fai looked and how old he acted.
"The Legend of Korra" picks up on page ninety-one," Syaoran said, pulling the heavy wooden chair around with a scrape so that his back would be to the window. "Should I just skip to there?"
Fai stopped bouncing and sat up in the bed, hair and feathers floating around him and a bright smile on his face. "Yay!" he cheered.
Syaoran cleared his throat, reached for a tumbler of water sitting on the bedside table, and took a drink to moisten his throat. He thumbed through the volume to find the desired spot, and began to read. Fai settled down as the story unfolded, his legs crossed on the duvet and his hands resting in his lap, back smoothly arched forwards. His eyes were half-closed, only a sliver of glowing blue showing in the afternoon light through the window, as he listened.
It was sad, Syaoran reflected as his voice continued on autopilot, that through all the worlds they'd passed through they'd never found one that spoke anything like Fai's language, nor any written characters he could read. Syaoran knew that Fai was a magician, and knew that he must have studied hard and read widely in order to achieve that status. But he rather thought that for Fai, reading wasn't just a method of study. The older man always had a slightly wistful look on his face when he gazed down at a page he couldn't read; the way his hands rested so lightly and lovingly on the book bindings spoken of a lifelong love affair, now broken.
Syaoran knew a lot of languages, but he couldn't teach them all to Fai; it would take a lifetime, and there wasn't much point when they changed worlds (and languages) every week or so. It felt strange to be reading fairy stories aloud, like a parent to a child. But at least -- he thought as he glanced up from the page, taking in Fai's half-entranced expression -- at least he could give this much back, to the man who'd been so much a father to him in return.
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Date: 2012-09-11 06:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 08:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 11:08 pm (UTC)1) I have so many feels about this relationship, it's hard to know where to start XD They really are perfect for each other and beautiful together. I've shipped lots of pairings in lots of fandoms before, but I'll be honest, it's a lot easier when the creator themselves is actually putting all their heart into the pairing you're shipping. :P While slash pairings dependant almost entirely on fandom still have a place and are still fun... Kurogane and Fai's story is one of the best love stories I've ever read. ;_;
2) Most people would say the low point of their relationship is during Infinity, but I'd actually place it somewhere different. Rather, I'd say it's the moment in Ceres when Fai is exposed as an agent of Fei Wong Reed, and Kurogane draws his sword and advances on him with a grim expression. And Fai, a terrified and desolate look on his face, raises one shaking hand and begins to cast against him.
The high point of their relationship, of course, comes ten minutes later when Kurogane cuts off his own arm to save Fai's life. ;;_;; Reading Kitten's "A Promise Kept" fic from a few days ago really, uh, drives that point home.
3) Do I have an unpopular opinion about them? Shit, I probably should have taken this question out of the meme because how do I know what's popular and unpopular in the fandom?
I could say something about Fai's mental state, but that's more about Fai himself than about Kurogane and Fai. Um... try this: I think their relationship is fundamentally unbalanced, inasmuch as Fai depends on Kurogane a lot more than Kurogane depends on Fai. Without Fai, Kurogane's life could probably go on; without Kurogane, Fai has nothing.
4) I really wish they could have kissed in the canon. I know that CLAMP doesn't really go in for kissing much -- and that as far as we know, neither Kurogane's nor Fai's culture even does kissing -- but damn! If they can't have sex within the storyline of the canon they should at least get to kiss.
5) I'll come back to this. I know I have KuroFai headcanons, I just can't think of any now. >|
6)
"I really wish you would just take the damn socks off," Kurogane grumbled. There wasn't much heat to it; it was hard to muster any real annoyance when he was tangled in bed with his lover, grinding the naked lengths of their bodies together in a most satisfactory manner.
Well, mostly naked.
"But, Kuro-sama," Fai whine, that sing-song tone of voice that signaled he was trolling the hell out of Kurogane and enjoying it. "My feet would get cooooooold!"
"Will you quit your bitching! This house isn't 'cold,' all right? Especially not compared to that icebox you called a home country." Kurogane raised his head enough to blink sweat out of his eyes, supporting himself with one arm extended and planted beside Fai's head, fingers tangled in a wild spread of blond hair.
Fai was grinning, quite evilly Kurogane thought. "But Kuro-sweaty," he said, "without socks, I wouldn't be able to do... this." He ran his foot up the back of Kurogane's leg, trailing the soft fabric over the sensitive hollow behind his knee, thigh, hip... Kurogane gasped, shivering at the sensation.
Damn, but Fai was flexible.
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Date: 2012-05-22 11:14 pm (UTC)SOCK IS LOVE
Date: 2012-05-22 11:20 pm (UTC)Re: SOCK IS LOVE
Date: 2012-05-22 11:20 pm (UTC)Re: SOCK IS LOVE
Date: 2012-05-25 10:49 am (UTC)/in the best way
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Date: 2012-05-23 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 07:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 10:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-06-01 08:18 am (UTC)I think that Fai will outlive Kurogane. We've sorted the translation of Yuuko's line in Tokyo pretty decisively; she is saying that Fai's life was extended due to his magical nature even before he became a vampire. She says nothing about Kurogane's life being extended, and there's nothing inherent to the vampire-prey contract that would imply that it is.
We don't know for certain whether Fai stopped being a vampire after he got his magic back from Syaoran.... but whether he's a vampire or a magician, either way his life is longer than a normal human's. And Kurogane's is not.
It's pretty depressing to think that Kurogane will die before Fai, and tempting to think that CLAMP must have included some way to fix this because otherwise it's just too sad. But keep in mind this is CLAMP. This is the same group of authors who wrote in Gingetsu and Ran's relationship in Clover, where Ran went from being a small child to a young man in two years and will probably age and die within ten. This is totally the sort of thing they do.
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Date: 2012-06-01 08:28 am (UTC)I AGREE SO MUCH WITH THIS BUT WILL CLING TO THE ILLUSION THAT THEY DIE AT THE SAME TIME. PEACEFULLY. IN THEIR SLEEP. SNUGGLED TOGETHER.
..it could happen ok! ;___;
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Date: 2012-06-01 03:14 pm (UTC)...is it bad that I kind of prefer this? I must have a thing for pain and suffering, because I cannot for the life of me think of any other reason why I should want it this way >.>
/blatant misuse of happy icon
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Date: 2012-05-22 08:12 am (UTC)(augh got to go to the hellspawn WORK)
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Date: 2012-05-22 11:40 pm (UTC)I genuinely believe that the time Fai spent living in Ceres, under Ashura's care, was the only thing that allowed him to keep his sanity and grow up as a functioning human being at all. We only see bits and pieces of his memories, but really the proof is in the pudding. Only a kind, caring, supportive parental figure could have fixed the damage that Fai's family and Fei Wong Reed's cruelty had inflicted on him.
Knowing as much of the future as he did, and knowing what he would need Fai to do for him, Ashura could have chosen to raise him in a colder, harsher environment and mold him into a killing machine. In a way it almost would have been kinder. But I think Ashura loved Fai too much for that.
2) The high point of their relationship was probably when Fai is being all mopey about his inability to do healing magic, and Ashura tells him to smile; and Fai does, just for him. And Ashura tells him that Fai's smile made him feel better. OMG. ;_;
The low point of their relationship probably came when Ashura decided that murdering Fai's beloved friends in front of him was just the motivation Fai needed to complete the job of killing him.
3) Well, this one's pretty easy since 95% of the fandom still seems to think that Ashura was an abusive monster. (To be fair, given the homicidal insanity, 'monster' might still technically apply, but 'abusive' clearly does not.)
4) I wish that Ashura could have lived long enough to see Fai saved. In his last moments he looked at Kurogane, saw his strength and determination and concern for Fai, and said he hoped that they could find a way... but he couldn't have forseen how. Ashura tried so, so hard to save Fai, and in the end he couldn't do it -- I just wish he could have foreseen, somehow, that Fai was going to be all right. ;_;
5) I think that Fai could not speak very well at first. Given the period of time that he spent in isolation (to say nothing of being shunned at court in Valeria and having no one to speak of except himself) it's entirely likely that his language development would have been retarded. He was speaking eloquently enough to his brother in the tower, but the first few times we see him speak with Ashura, he seems halting and diffident. So I think Ashura would have needed to carefully tutor him until he improved.
6)
"Fai." Ashura appeared in the doorway to his room, holding a candle in an elegant sconce. Fai raised his head from the book he was reading -- it was so large that he had to prop it open with both hands in his lap, and it blocked out much of the view of the room -- and looked up at his king. "Come with me."
Fai put the book aside with some reluctance, slipped out of the chair and hurried over to Ashura's side. "What... is it?" he asked hesitantly.
"I have something I want to show you," Ashura said with a small smile. He raised his arm and draped his cloak over Fai's shoulders, a habitual gesture that never failed to make Fai feel protected and safe -- and with one hand on his back, guided Fai off through the castle hallways.
Fai trailed along in silence, curiosity bubbling up in his mind as to what they were going to see. Ashura had shown him many things since coming to live in this country, both inside the castle and -- when the weather was good, wrapped up in many coats and heavy wool-lined boots -- down in the valley as well.
However, Ashura led him down the familiar hallways towards the kitchens, and stopped before a small dining chamber which he had seen many times before. "What is it?" he asked again, curiosity and confusion growing.
Ashura only smiled at him again, and pulled open the heavy oaken door. Golden candlelight flooded through the portal, and a chorus of voices chanted from within "Happy Birthday, Lord Fai!"
Fai stood paralyzed, clutching at Ashura's sleeve. The normally plain room was hung with glittering streamers, and the low table where he normally ate had been covered with a fine white cloth. Silver dishes had been set up there, and a small round maple cake sat on a raised platform. Tiny candles glinted in a circle around it, and a handful of small paper-wrapped parcels sat off to the side.
Enable to speak, Fai looked up at Ashura for guidance. Seeing his confusion Ashura answered, "It is a custom in this country, Fai, to celebrate the date of one's birth. Since we don't know for sure what yours is, I thought it would be appropriate to celebrate the day you came to live here one year ago, instead."
"For me?" Fai looked back at the festive vista, completely overwhelmed. "You'd... want to celebrate... me?" Anyone would want to celebrate him -- the cursed child, the child of misfortune, who'd killed his mother and father and brother and his whole world?
"Of course." The pressure on Fai's upper back increased gently, as Ashura ushered him into the chamber and towards the glittering lights. "Now, come on and let's serve the cake."
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Date: 2012-05-22 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-23 05:20 pm (UTC)This is precious, Mikke - that poor baby, thank God Ashura took him in... ♥
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Date: 2012-05-24 03:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 07:10 am (UTC)and were so eager for updates on your WIPs, I'd be inclined to emphasize that being eaten by prose isn't THAT bad a way to go...You write the bestest Ashura, just so you know. :DD
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Date: 2012-05-22 10:45 am (UTC)Lemme see some Kurogane and Sakura father-daughter time! ♥
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Date: 2012-05-25 03:30 pm (UTC)The thing I like the most about their relationship is that even though Kurogane is very protective of her (they all are,) and obviously regards her as precious, he doesn't condescend or talk down to her. Perhaps because some of his attitude towards Tomoyo translates over -- Sakura is just another princess he is proud to serve -- he obviously regards her as something precious that needs to be protected, but not someone incompetent that needs to be stifled and kept in helpless for her own good. Maybe the best representation of that is in Piffle, where Kurogane knocks her out of the way of the water jet -- obviously he did that to protect her, sacrificing his own chance at victory (and victory is always important to him!) and yet he wouldn't have done it if he didn't believe she had a chance of going on and completing the race for all of them.
2) Low point - I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't have included this line in the meme at all, because a lot of these relationships don't really seem to have a low point XD The closest thing would probably be in the very first few chapters of the manga, when Kurogane declares loudly that he has no interest in helping a very sick and helpless Sakura regain her feathers and her memory.
Or perhaps the chapter following, when Kurogane remarks that he "can't tell if [Sakura] is rowing the boat or asleep at the oars." Not that he meant it in a particularly malicious way, but you can tell he's not very impressed. Yet.
High point - in Tokyo, when Kurogane -- who is already hurt and weakened from bloodloss -- is preparing to go out on a mission in Tokyo at night to pay for Fai's life, and Sakura interrupts and takes over for him. And Kurogane lets her go, because he recognizes that this was something she needed to do.
Fai was outraged when he woke up and found Kurogane had let her go out, but to me this part was especially important because it shows Kurogane really respects Sakura. And the fact that he was willing to be the one who "stayed behind and waited" for her to come home, means that he wasn't just condescending to her in earlier words when he told her that was an important role.
3) I don't think I have any unpopular opinions about this relationship. Does the fandom even care about this relationship enough to have popular opinions?
4) I kind of wish they could have had more one-on-one time together. That confrontation in Tokyo is practically the only time I remember them exchanging any lengthy discussions about anything really important.
5) I still am personally of the opinion that Kurogane is the only one of the group who knows wtf to do when Sakura's on her period. >.> What few fics I've seen dealing with this at all (see also No Periods, Period) seem to assume that Fai would fit in this role, because Fai's the mommy, right? He knows about all that girly stuff.
But as far as we've seen in Fai's memories, no adult women figured prominently in his life. He might have known about it in an abstract sort of way, as part of his studies, but I doubt he ever had to deal with the nitty-gritty details. The same for Syaoran, raised by his single father, but even more so as he was very young and who seriously expects 14 year old boys to know that shit? Even Sakura herself might not know, if she was a late bloomer and hadn't started yet; she had no mother or older sisters, and if any women figured prominently in her life we never saw them. Her father, Clow, seems to have died or disappeared before she would have hit puberty; can you really see Touya giving Sakura a talk about this sort of thing any earlier than he absolutely had to?
Kurogane, on the other hand, lived in a household with at least three women, probably more including female attendants; and since Tomoyo was a child when they met, she probably went through puberty after he had already joined the household. Add in that Tomoyo has an intimate connection with the moon, and I can't imagine Kurogane doesn't know about this sort of thing.
6)
Ever since the princess had woken they had all, each in their own way, taken it upon themselves to teach her things. It was partly practical; there were only four of them against the world, every world, so the more things they could do for themselves the better. And it was also partly because they all sensed how crippled the loss of her memories had left her. A lifetime's worth of knowledge, all gone in a moment - they were getting the feathers back for her but slowly, oh so slowly. It was not fair to make her wait the interminable gaps between one memory and the next, in order to find substance and fulfillment in her life.
So they taught her things. Syaoran's part was at once the easiest and the hardest; because Sakura knew that Syaoran came from the same country as her, but she did not know (could never know) how much of a life they had shared together. Syaoran took it upon himself to teach her things of their own shared heritage: the history and culture and language and plants and flowers of their homeworld. They sat with their heads bent together over a book or a board as Syaoran sketched something with quick sure strokes.
Fai's tutelage was more practical, more active, since he couldn't read the princess' language nor she his. He taught her the skills of every day living and a hundred other useful little things besides: how to cook, how to prepare medicines, how to mend clothes and bind wounds and boil water in preparation for drinking, and sometimes when they were both too tired to work he taught her the songs of his country, beautiful melodies wrapped around words too strange for Mokona to translate.
For Kurogane it was harder. Most of the skills he knew were not appropriate in any way for a girl like Sakura to learn. Even some of the more innocuous ones - like how to move stealthily in the shadows, or conceal a weapon up one's sleeve - he didn't feel quite comfortable sharing with her (even if Fai scolded him, out of Sakura's hearing, for thinking that way. "She's not a child, Kuro-daddy," he chastened - as though he had any right to talk! - "Who knows what will happen on this journey? She might need to know someday.") He knew that, knew it as well as the stupid mage did. But Sakura was never going to be a warrior, not in the way he was. That wasn't her strength, it wasn't her calling. And that was fine. But it meant that Kurogane had less to share with than the others.
But one day, when the weather was fine and Syaoran and Fai were out pursuing a lead and Sakura was restless, hot and bored, he went with her out to the river near their lodgings. They'd been here long enough for Kurogane to watch people come and go from the riverbank, and knew that this stretch was set aside for fishing.
He borrowed a set of tackle from a neighbor, and taught Sakura how to string the weight and bobber and hook on the line. He showed her how to bait the hook ("Ew!" was her reaction, but she tried it herself willingly enough) and the proper flick of the wrist to cast the line out in the current.
And he taught her to settle back and wait, patiently, for some bob of the line. It was not so different from guard duty that way, really, or the wait of a stakeout where he had crouched in a blind and waited patiently for his prey to pass underneath.
"Do you think we'll catch anything?" Sakura asked, her chin on her knees as she watched the grass of the riverbank wave in the current.
"Probably," Kurogane said, eyeing the silver glints passing through the muddy currents in the river beyond.
"Then what?" Sakura wanted to know.
"Then we have it for dinner, I guess," Kurogane said. "I bet that guy knows how to cook fish." A small smile crept over his face at the thought of Fai's reaction at being asked to clean the cold, silver, slimy things; he'd make him do it, he decided, in payment for Kurogane doing all the work to catch them.
Sakura looked up at him, and her ginger hair waved about her face in strands like the river grasses. "Do you think he can teach me?" she asked.
"Probably," Kurogane replied. "If you want to learn."
Then there was a tug on the line and Sakura jumped to her feet and squealed with excitement, yanking on the pole, and Kurogane had to teach her the proper way to land a fish.
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Date: 2012-05-25 03:47 pm (UTC)Fai cleaning fish still fills me with glee. XDb
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Date: 2012-05-25 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-27 12:29 am (UTC)Ahahaha, this was awesome. And I think you're about a 1000% right on how much Kurogane respects Sakura. She's precious, yes, but I think he's one of the first in the group to realise she's not completely helpless :D And totally agree with you on the period thing, lol. I've actually read a fic where that came up and Kurogane was the only calm one while Syaoran freaked out and Fai was just... confused, lol. As he put it in the fic "I grew up in a castle full of moon-worshipping lesbians. You think I don't know about this crap?"
AIEEEEEEEE I KNOW WHAT PICTURE THIS DRABBLE IS BASED OFF! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVOURITES XD ♥ Ahaha, of course they would make Fai gut & clean the fish, of course. Ah, this was amazing Mikke~
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Date: 2012-05-22 06:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-31 06:47 am (UTC)Kurogane was obviously hurting for Tomoyo's absence quite a bit in the first few chapters, before he grew closer to the others; although the initial loneliness faded, I don't think his attachment for her ever did. We don't see the same time period from Tomoyo's perspective so much -- at the least his departure wasn't a shock to her, who had foreseen it -- but she gave up something very, very important for him, so there's no question she returned his regard.
2. I would say the low point of their relationship is when Tomoyo sends Kurogane off from Nihon at the beginning of the series. When you get to the end of the series and understand Tomoyo's true motivations and everything else that was going on, sending him away like that at once made sense and was appallingly cold-blooded.
To put it bluntly, she lied to him and manipulated him. She sent him away not because of what he did, but because she knew he needed to go on the journey for the sake of the world. She told him that she put a spell on him that would restrict his behavior; that was a lie. In short she sent him into exile not because of anything he'd done wrong, but for the sake of the universe, and she didn't trust him enough to tell him anything or simply ask or even just COMMAND him to go; instead she jerked him around with magic.
When they reunite after Ceres and Kurogane confronts her over this, she does express remorse, and he does forgive her -- "The one who doesn't know can't understand, how hard it is to say and not know. I don't judge things I can't understand." But if I had to name a low point to their relationship, that would be it.
The high point of their relationship, on the other hand, I think was in the scene in Nihon when he asks her to bless him before he goes. In light of all that had passed between them (including aforementioned exchange of apology and forgiveness) and also his new devotion to people other than her -- Fai, Tsubasa, the clones -- it was an affirmation of his love, trust, and loyalty to her as much as it was her affection and respect for him. He may never return to Nihon to serve her directly, but he will always be her knight.
3. Unpopular opinion? Well, that depends on what part of the fandom you're askin'. I don't think that Kurogane has any romantic interest in Tomoyo (nor she in him.) This is popular in some parts of the fandom, unpopular in others. XD
4. I feel they got a pretty good amount of closure; if there's anything I wish I could have seen, it would be Kurogane interacting with Tomoyo Daidouji of Piffle World again after the first time they met. I think during their first encounter Kurogane was still smarting from what he perceived as Tomoyo's rejection of him, and he found it hard to take Tomoyo Daidouji on her own terms. I'd like to see them meet again.
5. It's easy to forget just how young Kurogane was at the start of the manga, and how disturbed. I think at the time Tomoyo banished him he was very confused, emotionally turbulent, and wrapped up in his own rage. So I don't think he knew quite what he felt, or what he wanted.
If he'd been a boy of American culture, he might have decided that he was in love with Tomoyo because he would have been taught narratives of romantic love between men and women all his life. Instead, the social position that he was in emphasized the bond between master and samurai and there would have been very strong social disapproval against showing any kind of physical attraction for her. So he directed his emotional energies into the relationship of princess and vassal instead.
For Tomoyo's part... she would have always known, from her own visions, that he was destined for somebody else; so whatever feelings were in her heart, she would never have allowed a situation to arise where they could develop a greater intimacy.
6. I honestly wasn't sure what to write for this, until I considered Chandler's Law, which offers the following advice: "When in doubt for what to do next, have ninjas attack."
The shrine was sacred; no weapons were allowed in here. If he was going to stay by Tomoyo's side, Kurogane had to leave his sword out by the entrance.
He didn't like it. It wasn't just that he resented being separated from Ginryuu -- the new Ginryuu, reforged and copied to the smallest detail -- although he was. Threats had been coming in for the last month against the Tsukuyomi -- veiled, anonymous threats, although the court advisers had their own theories as to who was behind them. He didn't like being around Tomoyo and feeling so defenseless.
The shrine was dim -- lit only by moonlight -- and quiet -- the only sound the rustling fall of water. Tomoyo opened her eyes and lifted her head from her meditations. "Kurogane, must you jump at every sound?" she said. "Surely not even the Tokubashi would commit the sacrilige of offering violence on this sacred ground."
The whisper of steel in its scabbard was barely louder than that of the water; shadows detached from the walls around them and rushed suddenly at the pair of them, moonlight glinting on sharp and strangely shaped blades. Kurogane didn't waste a moment; he came to his feet and snapped out one long arm, his fingers brushing against Tomoyo's hair as he pulled the long, sharp hair pin from her tresses. It was no Ginryuu, but it would do.
Tomoyo's gasp echoed hollowly around the shrine; her dark hair slid like water falling down around her shoulders. Kurogane met the nearest assassin in a rush; the struggle was hot and bloody but brief. He forced his opponent's weapon aside and brought his own to bear, stabbing the hairpin through the enemy's neck and leaving it there. The ninja gurgled as he fell, a sound like a babbling brook, and Kurogane snatched up his fallen weapon and brought it to bear as he turned on the second assassin.
Blood flowed around both their feet when he was done, the red appearing black in the dim lighting; it splashed across his clothing as well, invisible on the black fabric, and his skin. "Kurogane," Tomoyo whispered, her voice shocked. "Blood, here... in this sacred place?"
"They attacked first," Kurogane reminded her, bending down to retrieve the hairpin. "I don't give a damn about sanctity or sacrilige, not when you're in danger."
Her eyes shimmered with tears, twin full moons in the dim light; she blinked rapidly, then turned away. Kurogane knew how much the violence hurt her, the spilt blood, but he didn't care.
So long as there were killers in the world, Kurogane would spill as much blood as needed, so that she didn't have to.
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Date: 2012-05-31 09:01 am (UTC)2. Fascinating. I never saw anybody deconstruct Tomoyo's actions as that way. While it was evidently hard on Kurogane to be exiled from home, which was so damn clear in Piffle when he talked to President Tomoyo, she had to because if she had told him anything about his destiny in the stake of all the worlds, it risks a chance of him straying from the path she, Ashura-ou, and Yuuko (and Sakura?) wished for. Which is why he said to her he cannot understand what it must be like to know the future, but not be able to say anything, therefore he forgives her (Kurogane is really remarkable in forgiving and understanding, now that I think about it).
That, and I always saw it where Tomoyo, on a personal level because of the deep relationship with Kurogane as childhood friends and master and vassal, wished that he would be able to find happiness,to love, and form healthy emotional relationships again since that pretty much had been stripped away from him when he lost his parents and Suwa. She and Ashura-ou had a lot in common then, of course.
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Date: 2012-05-22 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-06-01 08:10 am (UTC)I also think they're very alike; they have similar personalities and similarly gentle natures. But they're alike in a way that brings them closer, not one that would force them to keep their distance from each other (can you imagine two Kuroganes in an enclosed space?) The only difference between them is that because of Sakura's situation, she was not usually called on to fight -- Fai sometimes was. But I think having Sakura there to fight for made it easier for him.
2. The high point of their relationship, in my opinion, is not in TRC at all. It's a moment in xxxHolic when Sakura is speaking to Watanuki in her dreams. That scene is concurrent with the Infinity arc in TRC, so it's after Sakura has gotten her visions back from the feathers in Tokyo. Watanuki sees Sakura in the dream and calls out, "Sakura-chan!" Sakura is surprised and turns to look at him, and comments that only one other person calls her that. Someone who is very dear to her -- Fai.
They go on to talk about Sakura's visions, what they have told her about the future and her struggle to find some way to change them. Sakura talks about what she's sensed in Fai, how much pain he's in and how terrible his past was, and how much she loves him and wants to help him. This scene really hit me hard, partly because in a series with a structure like this, you'd sort of expect Sakura to be 'all Syaoran all the time.' But it's not. Despite her heartbreak over Syaoran, Sakura's focus right now is on helping Fai.
The low point of their relationship would probably be a few chapters later in Infinity, when he stabs her through the stomach. He didn't want to do it, and she forgave him for it before he ever lifted the sword, but -- he's just so devastated, knowing he's hurt her, that he was inches away from killing himself before Kurogane stopped him. All of the joy that had been in their relationship turned to pain, in that moment.
3. Does the fandom even have popular opinions about these two? Okay, here's one: I don't really see them constantly going around doing 'girly' things together. Fai may be the 'mommy' in their family, but he's still a grown man, and there are some things about Sakura's life and her situation and her feelings that he's not going to be able to understand. (See also: my 'headcanon' entry for Kurogane and Sakura.) It's true that he taught her how to cook, and how to do some healing, which are stereotypically 'feminine' arts... but Fai also explained (in Shara country) that he only knows how to cook because it's similar to brewing potions. It's unlikely that this extends to other 'girly' persuasions.
For girly stuff, I think Sakura's going to have to turn to Mokona. >.>
4. Anything really. I just wish they could have had more time together. My one biggest complaint about the end of TRC is that when they take off on their journey again they do so without Sakura. They sort of bonded with Tsubasa, but they never had a chance to get to know or develop a relationship with girl-Tsubasa. I wish that Fai could have had a chance to talk with Sakura once more after Infinity -- sort of the way he was able to meet with Syaoran again in Clow and say goodbye.
5. I can't think of any particular headcanons about these two. I was pretty happy with their relationship as written.
6.
Sakura found Fai in the workshop, hanging half-in and half-out of the engine block of one of the partially assembled dragonflies. Parts were strewn across the hood, the workbench, every shelf in the room and even the floor; it seemed impossible to think they would all fit inside the petite engine casing.
"Fai-san?" she asked, and he lifted his head and turned to look at her. He was wearing a thick leather apron and heavy gloves, as well as a pair of goggles that he pushed up over the crown of his head as he saw her. All three items were liberally smudged with graphite-dark grease, another streak of it marking his cheek as he swiped hair out of his eyes.
"Oh, hello Sakura-chan," he said. He smiled in welcome -- he always smiled when he saw her -- but there were tight little lines between his eyes that told her that he was more frustrated than he wanted to let on. "I was just trying to get this all put together. Kuro-daddy will be coming back with another chassis this afternoon, and we'll need to clear some space in here for him to park!"
"Are you having trouble?" she asked, momentarily diverted from her errand. "Can I help?"
Fai hesitated, glancing to the side, then sighed. "It would be nice if you can," he said. "Little pup gave me this diagram that shows where everything is supposed to go, but I can't read any of the notations, and it's a little bit confusing. I could use another set of hands. Or eyes."
Sakura stepped forward and took the large, creased sheet of graph paper from the older man as he held it out to her. It took both hands to hold it out, smoothing out the creases and tilting it towards the light. Although all the parts of the engine were represented, the schematics only showed them in outline and not to scale, and the directional arrows went all over the page. 'A little bit confusing' was an understatement; no wonder Fai was having trouble. "I'll do my best!" she said.
It took them over an hour, but the two of them working together finally managed to reassemble the engine and open up floor space for the new dragonfly. When Fai turned the crank to test the ignition and the engine purred to life, Sakura couldn't help but let out a cheer. She felt somewhat less foolish when Fai cheered along with her, and they grinned at each other as he turned the engine back off.
"Did you originally come looking for me for some reason, Sakura-chan?" Fai asked, and she was suddenly reminded of her original purpose.
"Oh! Lunch," she said, and grinned sheepishly at her forgetfulness. "I made sandwiches! They aren't much, I know, but it's all I can do to help..."
She trailed off; Fai's usual happy smile had dampened down to something much more gentle, almost sad. "Sakura-chan," he said. "You don't need to think like there's some quota of usefulness you have to fulfill. We're very happy to be with you; every day, that's enough."
"I know, but..." Sakura trailed off into a mumble, feeling her face heat. She felt embarrassed, but warmed by Fai's words. He laughed, and stripped off one heavy glove before he reached out to tousle her hair.
"Thank you for your help today," he said. "Let's go have sandwiches, ne?"
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Date: 2012-06-02 03:15 pm (UTC)Mikke, I love this so much. She snippet on the both of them is GORGEOUS, especially because Sakura is helping Fai out with something that is neither's forte. They could help each other as equals, in this situation. I was especially touched, as Fai turned a bit sad towards the end, when he realized how often Sakura was doing things only to feel useful and how hard she tried give them something back for their efforts. Even more so as he knows how all of this is going to end. Poor, poor Fai. ;____;
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Date: 2012-05-22 10:37 pm (UTC)SUCK IT.
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Date: 2012-06-03 08:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-06-06 07:50 am (UTC)2. The high point of their relationship, in my opinion, is best illustrated in a scene not even in the manga itself. In one of the episodes of the B-train anime adaptation which was Mokona-focused, Mokona is trying to decide which of the gang to sleep with tonight. She rejects Fai because he holds too tight, Sakura because she moves around too much, and then considers Kurogane. Kurogane scoffs and is very "Che! Stupid manjuu," and dismissive, but then he lays down and holds out one arm very pointedly towards her! (His injured expression when she then decides not to cuddle with him either is priceless.)
As in the case with Sakura, their relationship doesn't really have a low point per se. The closest it comes is in the first few days they knew each other, when Kurogane had no patience for a wicked, impudent rabbit-thing that called him names and stole his food, and Mokona had not much reason to be impressed with the brute and the bully that Kurogane appeared to be.
3. Once again with the "I don't even know what popular opinions fandom has" line. I've often seen them portrayed in fanfic as very shallow and one-dimensional, with Mokona throwing crude taunts or ruining Kurogane's possessions for fun, and him roaring and stomping around violently. I think any authors who go that route are rather missing the point. :P
4. This sort of telescopes with things I wish might have happened with Mokona in the series. Someone speculating about a Doctor Who crossover got me really thinking: given how incredibly powerful and valuable Mokona is (having the ability to transport multiple people across dimensions essentually indefinite times) why do they never encounter anyone who tries to capture her for their own use? The closest I can think of is in the Hanshin arc when she gets kidnapped... but the person who snatched her didn't even know what she was.
So I'd kind of have liked to see Mokona get grabbed by someone (like Seishirou, who really could have used a power like Mokona's) and Kurogane to come down on them like the wrath of God.
5. I think that Mokona must have access to some sort of extradimensional clothes outlet which she taps into when they come to a new world. How else would they be able to find clothing appropriate for a six-foot-six linebacker-built man no matter how remote or impoverished a locale they end up in?
6.
"Hey guys, look at the retarded rabbit."
Mokona twitched her ears up, looking around her. She'd been waiting on a park bench while her friends did the shopping; for some reason the store had a strict "No Animals" policy (Mokona wasn't an animal!) and she hadn't been allowed inside.
Sometime during her preoccupation, she had acquired company. The park bench where she'd been sitting was surrounded by kids, anywhere between the ages of eight and eleven and all of them boys. There were four of them, nudging and poking and slapping each other, all of them wearing most unpleasant expressions.
"Naw, it's not a rabbit," one of the boys spoke up. "Look at its gimpy little legs. It's probably a rat."
Mokona sat up straight, huffing indignantly. Rat, indeed! One of the other boys replied by punching the first in the chest, prompting an angry scowl. "That ain't no rat! Are you stupid?"
"It is so!" The first boy made a grab for Mokona, and she didn't dodge in time; she found herself swept up by a pair of grubby hands that squeezed painfully. *Not* the careful way that any of her friends held her. "You know what, we could feed it some rat poison. Then if it dies, it's a rat!"
She squirmed with all her might, and when that failed to win her free, resorted to her voice. "Mokona is not a rat!" she said stridently. "Mokona is Mokona!"
The boys all jumped, and Mokona managed to wriggle free and hopped back onto the bench. They goggled at her. "Holy shit, that rat just talked!" one of them said.
"It must be a robot," another said. "Hey, open it up and find its batteries! My walkman's busted, I need new ones."
"Leave Mokona alone!" She gave them her best glare, but it wasn't very threatening from her vantage point. "Mokona isn't a robot!"
Another punk made a grab for Mokona, which she barely avoided. "Yeah, take it apart and find out what makes it tick!"
Mokona gave a wail and jumped off the park bench, hurrying towards the cover of a nearby hedge. A viciously swung foot almost connected with her, and she was forced to veer hastily off. A forest of legs crowded around her, kicking and stomping, and Mokona gave a quick blast of Secret Technique #24: Reverse Vacuum Blast (Medium Power) which scattered them temporarily. Taking the opportunity, Mokona bolted off down the street.
Ugly shouts and tramping footsteps followed her, and Mokona redoubled her speed as she considered her dilemma. If it came down to it, she probably *could* defend herself more strenuously. Some of Mokona's secret techniques were quite powerful. The problem was, Mokona didn't want to really hurt any kids, even mean punk kids. She wasn't sure she could get them to leave her alone without seriously hurting someone.
A black figure loomed at the end of the block, and Mokona brightened hopefully as she made for it. "Kuro-daddy!" she cried out, and he turned towards her with some surprise. He looked up the block at her pursuers, and his expression darkened thunderously.
Completely winded, Mokona used her last effort to jump into the crook of Kurogane's arms. He caught her and quickly hid her safely in the folds of his black cloak, then turned to the kids who'd followed her. "What the hell do you little punks think you're doing?" he snarled dangerously. His deep baritone voice made the space around his ribcage rumble like a thunderstorm, and Mokona quivered in the safe space as she caught her breath. She peeked out around the corner of her cloak just in time to see her would-be tormenters slink away, spooked and chastened. Apparently scary-face Kurogane could do what Mokona's Secret Techniques couldn't, and banish the bullies without any further need for violence.
"You okay?" Kurogane said abruptly, and Mokona realized he was talking to her.
"Hmph!" Mokona said, regaining some of her composure. "Stupid kids. They called Mokona a rat! Mokona's not a rat, or a bunny, or a robot, either!"
"Nah," Kurogane said in agreement. "Good thing they didn't figure out what you really were."
"What do you mean?" Mokona frowned in confusion, and Kurogane chuckled.
"If they realized you were a pork bun, they might have tried to eat you!"
"HEY!" Mokona squawked, and pinched the side of his neck hard enough to make him wince. "Kuro-bully is just as bad as the rest of them!"
But she made no move to leave the shelter of Kurogane's cloak, and he made no move to evict her, either. As they turned down the street to meet up with the rest of their friends, he laid one warm hand on her head between her ears, to keep her steady and safe.
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Date: 2012-06-06 02:33 pm (UTC)the mangaBeeTrain established: acknowledging that hilarious and adorable scene in the anime, and him teasing her! (*is not surprised*)no subject
Date: 2012-05-23 01:44 pm (UTC)Because she obviously already kicked ass for the queen when he was just a traumatized young heir to a dead province. And still got her ass kicked by said kid. Or at least in the first round, her ninjas did. (some of her men actually might have gotten killed too)
There can't have been too many fuzzy feelings in the beginning. So I'm curious what you make of it!^^
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Date: 2012-06-06 07:17 am (UTC)But the truth is that Souma's first introduction to Kurogane was when he killed a bunch of her friends and fellow warriors. Not only was he never punished for that (as far as we know) but he was then honored by becoming one of Princess Tomoyo's vassals. And proceeded to act with a total lack of decorum or even civility for the rest of his time at court. The fact that he actually turned out to be incredibly powerful probably didn't help smooth things over for her -- how frustrating is it to watch someone break all the rules and act like an asshole, and not only get away with it but get promoted/favored over you because of their sheer talent? (Also, for all that she's often portrayed in fanfic as a wise-ass -- the original Souma from RG Veda didn't have much of a sense of humor. Not, mind you, that she had all that much to laugh about, either.)
Kurogane's attitude towards Souma probably wasn't much better; when we met him at the start of the series he was obsessed with strength, regarded himself as the strongest warrior in the world and had a total disregard for the life of anyone weaker than him. He might give a pass to people who weren't warriors -- like Tomoyo -- but he probably treated Souma with sheer contempt, knowing how much better he was than her.
In short, they probably hated each others' guts. Contrary to what fanfic has taught me, people with strongly opposing personalities/worldviews/deep ongoing grudges don't always have a love-hate relationship. Sometimes it's just plain hate. Souma was probably the happiest person in the court that day that Kurogane was banished; not only did he finally get some comeuppance for disobeying the Tsukuyomi, but she wouldn't have to deal with him any more.
2. The low point was probably when Souma met Kurogane for the first time, and he killed a bunch of her ninja. I don't think you can really say they had a high point; we only saw them meet in canon twice. I guess the high point would be when he met the alter Souma in Outo, and actually was glad to see her because at least she was a familiar face.
3. See #1. Insofar as the fandom cares about this relationship at all, people prefer to see them as friends and comrades (including me, really.)
4. Their relationship might improve (it could only go up, really) if Kurogane returned to Nihon after all the learning and growing he did during their journey. I'd like to see him go back to Nihon permanently so that he could shock her with how wise he's grown. And that's totally the primary reason why I want him to go back. Yeah. Totally.
5. I have no particular headcanons for these two, so I'm going to go with that one fic of Reikah's where Kurogane needs an heir for Suwa, so he goes and asks Souma to bear his child. Her trolling of his lack of female anatomy in that scene was pretty damn epic.
6.
It was hard to say which of them least wanted to be there. Kurogane didn't get why he had to study ninjitsu in the first place; it was sneaky, dishonest and not at all the sort of thing his father had taught him. Souma, for her own part, was clearly unhappy to have this upstart peasant brat presented to her as a tutor.
But the Tsukuyomi did her work at night, and so it was an ages-old tradition that any guards who served her had to be qualified in the arts of stealth and deceit, if only so they knew what to look for. So on Kurogane's fifteenth birthday, once he was officially old enough to be registered as part of Souma's regiment, he became her pupil.
And for Tomoyo's sake if no one else's, Souma was bound and determined to make a ninja out of him.
"You failed again!" Souma moved with the speed of a striking snake; even with his sharp warrior instincts, Kurogane didn't even see her hand as it came flying towards his head. He only felt the ringing clout of her hands cupped over his ears, and shook his head to clear the dizziness. "A deaf and blind grandfather could have heard you sneaking through that door! You're the most miserable, pathetic excuse for a ninja I've ever met! You could hardly be more obtrusive if you dressed in a bright orange jumpsuit and yelled your presence when you came through a door!"
Kurogane rubbed his ear and glared at his teacher, who glared right back. "It's not my fault I'm having a growth spurt," he grumbled. He was, too; he'd shot up from shorter than Souma to looming a full head above her in less than a year, and showed no signs of stopping his growth anytime soon. His voice, too, wavered between a childish tenor and a cracking deep baritone. "This is easy for you chicks. You're already skinny, so it's easy for you to hide!"
"Cretin!" Souma's hand flashed out again, and this time Kurogane tried to anticipate the blow and duck; once again his head was set ringing. "You think it's *easy* for us kunoichi? Hah! The world is your oyster for you boys! Nobody cares if you get scarred up during a fight, it's all "proof of prowess in battle" and "chicks dig scars." But we're expected to keep our skin perfect, even while wearing less protective gear than any of you lot..."
Kurogane muttered something under his breath; unfortunately, Souma's hearing was preternatural. Her glare on him intensified. "What was that?" she demanded, her voice going up half an octave in pitch.
"I said," Kurogane snarled, "that if chicks dig scars, what's your problem?"
Souma's eyes flashed dangerously. Kurogane knew what was coming, and winced even before she half-rose, and --
He still couldn't see her hands move, but he knew they were coming... he could almost sense them. Without thinking his own hand snapped up, with all the honed reflexes his father had taught him since childhood... and the two of them froze like that, Kurogane's hand holding onto Souma's inches away from his face.
A small smile crossed Souma's face. "Hmph," she said. "I was beginning to wonder if you could do it at all." Casually, she turned her hand and broke as if effortlessly from his grip. "There's more to being a ninja than wearing black and lurking sinisterly in corners, you know. Sit down, shut up and listen to my lessons, and we might make a ninja of you yet."
Personally, Kurogane doubted it.
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Date: 2012-05-24 01:52 am (UTC)...The darling little Fluorite (shhh, I know only one of them technically got that name) twinses - Fai and Yuui.
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Date: 2012-05-24 02:38 am (UTC)I love giving them happy endings, when I can, in AU stories. (Or even by cheating with the canon, as in Family Portrait.)
2) The high point in their relationship was the moment in the throne room when their uncle threatened them with exile unless they chose one of them to die... and they just looked at each other and linked hands, preferring to go into exile together rather than choosing one of them over the other. They couldn't have really understood what was awaiting them, I think -- or else Fai (AND probably Yuui) would have volunteered right there... but just because their love hadn't been tested yet didn't make it not real.
A low point... I'm not really sure I can think of a low point, at least not one that was their own doing. Obviously Fai living for years with the guilt of his brother's murder was pretty low.
3) Sometimes it's easy to forget that twincest is really rather a specialized area of the fandom and not widely accepted >.> But yes, I like them romantically together and also platonically. It's really the feelings that are important.
Another possible unpopular opinion, depending on what fics you've been reading: unlike a lot of people in fandom seem to, I don't think Yuui is a selfish evil brat who wants to destroy Fai's happiness. :P
4) I wish they could have had a happy ending. ;-; I WISH IT SO MUCH. Or at least that he could have seen Fai's spirit one more time to say goodbye.
5) In direct contravention of #4, I have a personal theory that is probably best summed up by Yuuko in The Curse of the Twins:
"The twins are born in every world, every time, with enough magical power between you to shake the stars, to crack the world loose from its moorings. But that is too much power for any one world to bear. And so before the two of you reach eight years old, one of you must die, every time. It is not always the same way. It is not always the same one. But it is always the same ending."
...Of course, the fact that they turned up both alive in SHG would seem to contradict this also! :D But then, that was also a world where they lucked into having no magic, so there's that.
6)
He wasn't, by nature, a violent man. Therein lay much of his troubles.
But he'd never in his life wanted to haul off and smack Syaoran -- any Syaoran, even the boy who'd lost his soul and claimed his eye -- quite so much as in that moment. The moment where Syaoran suggested that if he'd never made his desperate deal with Fei Wong Reed, then Fai would not have been born as a twin.
The thought of that -- the thought of being born alone, of never having known Fai, of never seeing that beloved face by his side -- how could Syaoran suggest that he would want that? However bitterly he had wished, at some times, that they had not been born a twin, that they had not brought misfortune, that they had been born into any other world that would not hate them for what they were -- he could never have wished for Fai not to be. Better to undo himself, if it ever came to that. Better that he should never have been born at all, then to be born alone.
He remembered:
In a world of giants, shadowy looming figures and sky-high looming cradles, of thunder-rumbling voices and lightning-crash claps of movement; another body by his side. He remembered a hand curled sweetly into his own, the sound of other breaths matching the tone and frequency of his. He remembered cornsilk hair spilled onto the pillows, the ends tickling his cheeks; remembered skyblue eyes returning his own gaze, mirroring every thought and inflection.
He remembered: words between them, the tones hushed, in their own special language meant just for the two of them. Games so convoluted and arcane that they could never have explained the rules to anyone else, a shared understanding that defied communication. First steps taken on the same day; seeing Fai walk, he knew that he must be able to do the same himself. Tears, all too many of those, and sticky make-it-better kisses.
Love, surpassing and unconditional; the kind that mothers were supposed to have for their children, or so he'd heard. Their mother never had. If he'd been born alone, as Syaoran suggested, would she have loved him then? Could she? If she'd been capable of that kind of love at all, why would she have forsaken them?
How would it have been better to never have had Fai? Would their father have lived, the father he never knew? Would their uncle still have been so treacherous, so mad? Would it have been better to walk the halls of Valeria cloaked in shallow smiles and acceptance, never knowing the depths of viciousness that his people were capable of, had he dared to be born a twin?
It hurt, being without Fai. It hurt that he had not been able to save his brother, it hurt not to be able to bring him back. It hurt to lose him, and then lose him again, more than any other pain he'd known in a life that was all too full of it. But the pain came only from how much they had loved each other, a love that had been torn out of his soul like a farmer yanking a deep-rooted plant from the ground and leaving a bleeding hollow in its place. He would not, could not, wish that love gone.
What might his life have been like, were he born without Fai? He was glad he'd never know.
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Date: 2012-05-24 07:34 am (UTC)Mikke~ ♥ Stop breaking my heart!
Or rather, never stop! XDFai and Yuui's story will never stop touching me - though I honestly think that Clamp should have focused more on their past together. I always feel like a piece of it is missing due to
sightlyunorganized narration, and it makes me sad. :xno subject
Date: 2012-05-24 07:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-14 11:09 am (UTC)