NaNo? Nah... no.

[mikkeneko]

So... so I agonized over it and decided that I'm not gonna do NaNo this year. I'm just too flat-out exhausted with the new job. @_@ I'd forgotten how draining a real 9-5 job can be; by the time I get home in the evenings I'm just a brick in terms of creative energy. I seem to recall that the last time I had a full-time job, the only way I was able to get anything written was to write a little bit in my lunches and breaks; if I could get even 100-200 words written in a few minutes' time, then that evening I could use that as a springboard to expand on the scene. That's... just not happening at this job. It requires a much higher level of mental involvement; when I'm in a work headspace, I just cannot bring a fandom headspace into it. At all.

In addition, my guild just started back up raiding. We're not a hardcore guild by any means; 3 hours a night, 3 nights a week. But that does mean that for those 3 nights of the week I come home, rush around to get things done for the day, log in and raid all evening, rush around to get ready for bed, and then sleep. Writing does not fit in that schedule ANYWHERE. Towards the end of the last expansion, although we were still raiding, we would pretty much finish up all the content within one night, so things were much looser. Not right now -- we need every minute of that raiding time if we are to improve.

So between the job and WoW, I really just don't see NaNo happening this year. And... I think I'm okay with that.

NaNo has got to be one of those things that you do for yourself, not for anyone else. And I have been doing it for myself. The first year, I did it to prove to myself that I COULD; that I could produce on a deadline and at a high rate. The second year, I think, I did it to prove that the first year wasn't a fluke. But this year -- what would it be? To prove to myself that I can produce even when incredibly stressed out and busy? Yeah... I think that's an opportunity I'm willing to pass on, all things considered.

No NaNo, then. But perhaps a mini-NaNo? Yeah... that's the ticket!

Comments

[reikah]

http://mini-nanowrimo.livejournal.com/profile maybe? Or a more personal goal? I do think the social aspect of nano is one of its key features, if you wanted to have a more personal goal I'd be down for trying to match it or something.

[mikkeneko]

This looks pretty good, yus! And I agree with the social aspect being the most fun. I'd hate to miss it, even if I just don't have the chops for a full nano this year. :(

[cloverfield]

Sweet, I honestly believe that if you feel you can't do it, then you shouldn't- lord knows you've got a lot on your plate already, and I know what it's like to feel like it's a chore to write sometimes because you're forcing yourself when you want to be / should be doing something else >.< Believe me though, there is not a single one of us that wouldn't understand your decision.

Good luck with your raiding and such! *is shamelessly spamming Pokemon BW2 of late*

[mikkeneko]

I always feel guilty when I'm not writing, though ;_; And then when I DO write, I feel guilty for not writing the right THING. There's just no winning when you are afflicted by the Curse of Writer's Conscience!

[cloverfield]

Dude, it's like you opened my head up and poured my thoughts out. O.O

This is me all of the time.

I feel like I can never get anything done because I'm not writing what I'm "supposed" to be writing, which makes me feel bad about what I DO write, and then I try and make myself write what I think I should be writing, and then it feels like homework and I hate it and then I hate all of the things I've written. Which is horrible. I've caught myself actually trying to delete my writing folder before, which would be... bad. Really, really bad. So some days I know I just have to step away from the keyboard and not try because I don't want to do something I regret.

Because writing is fun and it is not a chore and I should not push myself. The words will come when they come, and I cannot force them. And neither should you love. Write the things you want to write and damn the consequences! Viva la revolution!

...seriously though, you shouldn't feel pressured. And when you do, you should go do something else. It's pretty much the only thing that keeps me sane on bad word days where the writing won't work and my hands are clumsy and illiterate.

Stay awesome, lovie- you know we're cheering for you no matter what it is you're doing!

[kittenkin]

I feel better now for knowing the name of the mental disorder I am afflicted with. XD

[cloverfield]

Some people have bad hair days, I have bad word days :/

(I also have bad hair days actually- I have terrible static. Waitaminute. That's not fair, I should only get one or the other! DX)

[kittenkin]

Rub a dryer sheet through your hair; that's what I do. XD Either that or lotion up your hands and then pat your hair down a bit. I found that helped as well, when I had long hair. (I have a Watanuki cut right now.)

[mikkeneko]

Or else a spritzer water bottle with a bit of conditioner mixed in. *sage nod*

[cloverfield]

Oh! That sounds clever- I think I may actually get myself some detangler spray; I know that works for little kids hair- why wouldn't it work on mine? XD

[cloverfield]

*quizzical head tilt* What is a dryer sheet? It's a moot point as I don't actually own a dryer anyway, but I've never heard of one of those before.

I have some hair oil stuff I use when it gets too many split ends, but I need to wash my hair every second day because it gets greasy so easily... dunno if lotion will help though.

Ahaha I keep telling myself every summer I will cut my hair short again... but I never do. I think part of it is laziness (I have A LOT of hair, so it always costs me so much money to get it cut and honestly i's too much effort; last time they needed two people to comb it out before they could cut it XP) and part of it is vanity, lol. Casey likes my hair long >////<

[kittenkin]

I'm...so busy that I don't think I could even do a mini-NaNo. Not even a micro-NaNo where the minimum goal is to write one sentence a day. *shakes head* So I completely understand this sentiment stuffed with exhaustion and muse-mourning. *snuggles*

Hopefully things settle down as time goes on, and even if you don't have all the time you could wish, you at least get back some of your writing time, energy and inspiration. <3

[mikkeneko]

I am doing the mini-NaNo. So far it's not too bad! I can sort of see the appeal; knowing that it's just a couple paragraphs/about 10 mins of writing each night helps stave off some of the "but I'm so tired, I can't possibly invest time in writing tonight" feeling while making small, steady progress towards the goal.

But. BUT. What with the elections last night and raids on week nights it's just... It's HARD! ;o;

[kittenkin]

Baby steps! ^^ I'm glad you're getting some writing done, and that it's not adding any pressure to your already busy life. And hey, even small steps add up to a long journey if you keep at it, yes?