more quick episode summaries

[mikkeneko]

Whee, I was on a roll.

Warning: Spoilers (duh.)




Writers: This episode has no purpose.
Audience: Then we can skip it, right?
Writers: No, because just like every other episode in this series, there's important plot stuff you can't miss.
Audience: Dammit.
Writers: But to make up for it, here's a cool train robbery episode!
Audience: Yay!


Roy: I'm just yankin' your chain.
Hakuro: Don't I look like a good guy? See, I even have a wife and kids!
Bard: Nobody move!
Ed: Except us. To the batmobile, Al!
Al: Okay, but don't fall off any moving trains.
Hughes: *catch*
Ed: Eheh, my bad.
*Ed and Al kick some major ass*
Hughes: Hey!
Ed: Sorry, foot slipped.


Nina: Look at me! I'm so cute! I'm so lovable! Big Brothers, you'll love me, right? WHEE!
Ed: No way. We're rough and tough alchemists.
Al: WHEE!
Ed: Argh, dammit! No way! I'm too manly for that sort of thing!
Nina: WHEE!
Al: WHEE!
Ed: Gah... fine. I love you too.
Hughes: Please, Edward-kun, allow me to introduce you to a fleeting moment of precious domestic bliss, so that it will be all the more poignant when it later gets ripped away.
Ed: Don't mind if I do.
Fuhrer: Look, he passed the exam with flying colors. Get it? Flying colors! Ha ha!
Roy: Permission to shoot myself, sir.
Fuhrer: Denied.


Tucker: I go the quiet kind of psycho.
Ed: TUCKER, YOU FUCKING BASTARD! I'm going to strangle you with my bare hands!
Al: Niisan, wait, no! Remember those waivers we signed? No strangling!
Ed: Oh, dammit. Well, can I stab the bastard?
Al: No.
Ed: Target practice?
Al: No.
Ed: Dynamite?
Al: Sorry, no.
Ed: Umm... can I shove my hand through his chest?
Al: Not for another thirty-four episodes... no.
Ed: Dammit! Well, I guess I'll just whale on him, then.
Ninalex: Don't you be hatin' on my dad, bitch.
Basque "We Hates Him Precious" Gran: Move out, everybody.
Scar: My arm talks to me.


Ed: Obviously, the best way to revenge Nina's death is to strip myself of all the resources I might need to pursue it.
Al: I hate having to be the rational one.
Ed: That's why I never do it.
Winry: I randomly appear in this episode! And I refer to myself in the third person!
Barry: I'm creepier than any man in a dress has any right to be.
Ed: And I'm smart enough to figure out where the murderer is, but dumb enough to get whacked on the head from behind.
*Ed performs a-fuckin-mazing alchemy with one hand missing and the other tied behind his back*
Ed: Oh, no! I'm so helpless!
*Ed lays beatdown on Barry*
Ed: Oh, no! I'm so weak!
*Ed prepares to skewer Barry through the chest*
Ed: Oh, no! He's going to kill me! Why am I so worthless?
Al: Hey, Niisan, just in case you'd forgotten, I WANT MY BODY BACK, yo.
Ed: Oh yeah, that.


Ed: I'm depressed.
Al: I'm worried.
Roy: I'm manipulative.
Villagers: We're ungrateful.
Yoki: I'm corrupt.
Lyla: I'm not, despite all appearances, a random throwaway character designed to portray the alchemists who sells her soul for favors.
Audience: Sure you're not.
Lyla: Okay, okay, I'm just here to wear the maid outfit.
Ed: Can this flashback be over already? Geez, it's been going on for six episodes now.