mikkeneko

Title: The Most Loved
Arc: This was actually written for the 'Doubles' arc of the 'HoS' universe, but it can stand on its own. :D Post episode 51, assumes a reunion.
Warning: Sap, angst

They both had their nightmares. Al's were less frequent, perhaps because most of his worst memories were blocked... or gone. Still there were nights, like tonight, where he was the one in need of his brother's silent, gentle comfort. Ed never asked about the nightmares, but he always listened, and tonight, Al wanted to talk about it, to try and get the feelings out.

"It -- it doesn't make much sense, Nii-san," Al began hesitantly. Ed just stroked his hair, silently encouraging, and that gave Al the heart to go on.

"It's a dream I've had more than once. I'm in a dark place... it feels like a very big place, and yet..." He struggled to put words to the strange concepts. "At the same time, it's like it's so tightly packed with... with darkness, that it's crowded. And there isn't any light, and there are all these... things..." he choked, breaking off with a shudder as he burrowed into Ed's chest. His brother's arms tightened around him.

"It's okay," he said softly. Al nodded, collecting himself, and continued.

"They're surrounding me, and it's like they're holding on to me, but they don't have anything to hold with... and they're always talking, words that don't make much sense, but they're like... like kids' voices, really high-pitched, only horrible!"

Once he'd started talking about it, he found it easier to vent; he was getting on enough of a roll that he didn't notice the way Ed stiffened up. "And the worst part of it is that somehow I know that somewhere nearby there's a way out, but I can't reach it, and... even if I could, I could pound on it for years, and it wouldn't open, nobody would hear, and I'm stuck, I can't get out and I --" Claustrophobic terror overwhelmed him, and for a moment he just shivered, overwhelmed again with the feeling of being trapped.

"The Gate," his brother said unexpectedly, voice hushed and thick with emotion. Startled, Al looked up, and was shocked to find his brother's eyes glittering with tears, his face twisted in guilt. "That place -- it's real, Al. Well, sort of real. You've been there before, even if you can't remember it. You've been there twice, and both times, it was my fault. It's my fault, Al. I'm sorry."

Al sat back, stunned by this revelation. Oddly enough, it was an enormous relief to know that there was a reason for the dreams, that they weren't just random hauntings disturbing his sleep. On the other hand, the thought that he'd actually been to that place, and therefore there was a chance he might be there again --

"Shh, Al, it's okay," His brother's soothing voice broke through the terror, hand rubbing soothingly down his back. "You're not there now. You're out, and safe. I'd never leave you in a place like that -- I'd sooner die." He chuckled a little, though it was rusty. "Hell, I almost did."

"I don't want that," Al said tartly, but he found himself warmed and reassured by his brother's words, and he relaxed into the soothing touch. He didn't want his brother to sacrifice his life for his sake, but at the same time, just the knowledge that he would -- that if Al were ever really in trouble, Ed would break down the very gates of Hell to bring him back -- made him feel like the most loved person in the entire world.